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Vanessa
When I get back from lunch with Kate, Joshua is gone. I don't think much of it at first until hours pass and he still doesn't return. I try calling and texting a few times, but there's no response.
When the ticking clock on the wall strikes five, I find myself reaching for my phone to tell Sam I'll be home late. But I stop myself.
I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this. But the only obvious one that keeps coming to my mind is...he's doing it again. Suddenly my mind is flooded with images of him with Carrie Hartford, smacking her on the ass. I see him pressing her up against her car and making out with her. The thought makes my stomach turn, but I can't stop it. The fact of the matter is...It's happened before. It's not so far-fetched to think it could happen again.
The only reason I feel compelled to linger in the lab so late is an itching need to see him walk through that door and prove me wrong. But I'm not about to put off my life to wait around on him. I won't do that to Sam and Addy.
I force myself to leave and do my best to accept that he'll probably call later and explain everything.
I'm a distracted mess that night at home. Addy calls me out several times for forgetting the smallest of things, asking her the same questions two or three times.
When my head finally hits the pillow for bed, I find myself turning over to reach for my phone and check it over and over again. Still no word from him.
I walk into the lab the next morning convinced that I'll see him sitting there like nothing ever happened, but I walk into a cold and empty room. No sight of Joshua.
By noon, I'm starting to get worried. It doesn't make any sense that he would miss out on this much work without at least texting me to explain why or give me a heads up. I would've expected that from our normal work relationship, even before everything else started.
When I can't stand it anymore, I head down the hall to Kate's office and knock on the door. I catch her shuffling between her bookshelf and her desk with her arms full of papers and files.
"Hi, Kate. How's it going?"
"Pretty good," she sighs. "Just running around like a chicken with its head cut off. You know, the usual." She must notice the worry etched into my face, because her expression quickly melts with concern. "You okay?"
"Yeah, fine. But, um…have you seen Dr. Ashford around?"
She thinks about it for a minute. "I think he was in his office last time I saw him."
"You saw him today?"
"Earlier this morning," she nods.
"Great, thank you."
I take off, feeling silly for not thinking to check his office earlier. But if he is here and everything is fine, why wouldn't he answer my texts or calls? And since when does he hide out in his office like that? Since I started here, he's spent nearly all of his working hours in the lab with me. Hudson did make his assignment to my research team top priority after all. All my paranoia aside, he's still supposed to be reporting to me. The sudden absence with no explanation is inexcusable.
I'm angry by the time I reach his office door and am even more incensed to see him sitting right there behind his desk, just like Kate said he would be.
But the Joshua I see sitting behind that desk isn't the same man who had breakfast with us yesterday morning. He's not the same man who spent the weekend with us, eating pizza and riding roller coasters at the amusement park. His hair is a wreck. Dark circles have appeared under his eyes out of nowhere. He's pale, and he looks like he's been sweating.
"Hey, what happened? You never showed up to the lab. I've been calling and texting. Are you feeling okay?"
He almost seems startled by the sound of my voice, and he doesn't answer me right away. He just stares back at me for a moment with dazed, empty eyes.
"I didn't realize I have to report every second of my day to you," he says finally. "You know, as much as you'd like to have me at your beck and call, I do have other work to do sometimes."
My brow furrows. "No, of course. I know that. Why are you…I don't understand."
"What's so hard to understand?" he barks. "I have other things to take care of this morning. If you can't handle things in the lab on your own, then we have a much bigger problem than my current availability."
"I can handle things in the lab on my own just fine," I answer firmly. "That's not the point. You just vanished. Not only have you been avoiding me, but you've been ignoring my calls too."
"Now you know how it feels," he mutters under his breath.
I'm so shocked that I barely even notice the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.
"Don't do this," I rasp - shaking my head, trying to hold back my tears. "Don't do it all over again."
