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Her expression melts in sympathy. "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry…"
"At least, not yet anyways. I mean, this has to be some sort of mistake. I just talked to my connection yesterday afternoon, and she told me she heard I was in the top three! Then out of nowhere last night, this doctor calls and says I didn't make it. What could have changed in such a short amount of time? And who makes a call like that so late at night?"
"Well, you know doctors work late," she defends. "That has to be so frustrating. Is there anything I can do? Do you want me to stay late tonight so we can commiserate over cocktails?"
"No, no. It's okay. I'm going to figure this out. I'm trying to get a hold of Kate for some answers. I took the day off work, so I can do whatever I need to until I get down to the bottom of this."
Sam studies me with concern.
"What?" I ask, crossing and rubbing my arms, growing insecure under her stare.
"I know you really want that job, and I know it sucks to be turned down. But…Vanessa, stuff like this happens sometimes. Do you really think there's anything you can do to change their minds at this point?"
"There has to be," I say firmly. "I have a gut feeling about this. Something's not right, and I know I can fix it."
"Okay," she says in a skeptical tone. "I just know you don't always take it so well when you don't get your way. I don't want you to drive yourself crazy over this. I mean, when's the last time you took a day off work?"
"I can't remember," I nod.
"Exactly! So why don't you use this time to take care of yourself? Go to a spa or get a manicure. Go shopping and buy yourself something nice."
A frown burrows into the corners of my lips as I remember my celebration plan for when I got the job at Bardot. I already bought a bottle of champagne that's chilling in the fridge. I planned on taking Sam and Addy out for a girls day and then throwing a little party back at our place.
I still want to have that party, dammit. I worked so hard for this.
"Okay, maybe," I say finally, just trying to appease Sam. "I'll think about it."
"Please do," she barks, burning her eyes into me. She offers me a quick hug, then heads out the door to meet up with Addy and walk her to school.
I immediately start pacing and chewing my thumbnail, even though there's not much left of it to chew by now. The moment my phone starts ringing, I jump to answer it.
"Kate! Hi. Sorry to bother you again…"
"Hi, Vanessa," she laughs. "No, I haven't heard anything else about the position."
"Actually that's why I'm calling…because Ihaveheard something. Dr. Gray called me last night and said I didn't make it into the top three."
"Oh dear. Vanessa, I'm sorry. I never would have told you that you made it to their top picks if I had known…gosh, I just feel awful about this."
"Don't you think it's odd though? I mean, what could have changed between yesterday afternoon and that evening?"
"I didn't see that coming," she sighs. "That's for sure."
"Do you think…I mean, I hate to even ask this because you've already done so much for me…but is there any way you might be able to tell me whodidmake it into their final top three?"
"Vanessa…" she says slowly, in a tone that signals to me I'm bordering on crazy town. "You know I can't tell you that."
"I know. I just…It's just going to drive me crazy to not know what changed their minds."
"I wish I knew more. I really do. If I hear anything, I can let you know. And hey, Vanessa…don't sweat this, okay? There will be other positions for you at Bardot."
She's right, but the problem is…if I don't know what killed my chances with this one, how can I stop it from happening again in the future?
Either way, I know I can't risk making myself sound even more desperate and insane than I already do to Kate. She's done more than enough for me as it is. But that doesn't actually stop me from doing something desperate and insane. It just can't appear that way to her.
"Kate, can I ask you for just one more thing?"
"Of course."
