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“Fate isn’t the only one who can look after you.”
Her coffee had gone cold, but Indy wrapped her hands around the thick white mug anyway. “I know, but Fate doesn’t scare me.”
“What does?”
“Getting it wrong. Failing. I’ve built up my readers’ expectations, and if I fail them now, I’ll never forgive myself.”
Ethan worried his lip. “It’s impossible to make everybody happy.”
Her reviews were proof of that. “Doesn’t seem to stop you from trying, though.”
“It’s not about me,” he said softly. “Is that why you haven’t finished the book yet?”
“Lori wants something I can’t give. I don’t know what love is like. I can imagine the big parts, longing, lust.” She peered up at Ethan from under her lashes. “But I’ve never had the little things. The quiet ones. That moment when you look at someone and there’s no fear, no anxiety. Just a deep, profound safety.”
He nodded solemnly. “Knowing you can take a wrong step, but with them, you’ll always find your ground.”
“Thank you for not laughing at me,” Indy offered softly. “Without destiny, we wouldn’t even know each other.”
“Not true,” he said, using his fork to point at her. “You decided to sneak around Nick’s office and show up at his apartment. You’re making your own destiny.”
“And so far, it’s only led me to you.”
Ethan held her gaze. “Maybe it’s a sign.”
“You don’t believe in signs.”
“You’re right,” he said. “But you do.”
She stared down at her cold coffee. It wasn’t coming out right. If she could write it down, maybe she could manage it. Left to her own devices, with no filter between her heart and her mouth, she would inevitably embarrass herself.
Always had.
How could she make him see? Someone like Ethan— with his impressive shoulders and disarmingly imperfect smile— clearly didn’t second-guess himself. Why should he? Every single parent in a hundred-mile radius was probably vying for his attention. There was probably an unofficial fan club. Mr. Fraser’s followers. With an eggplant logo and a long list of reviews. All five stars, of course. Top-tier date, loved the climax.
On Indy’s best days, she was a four, maybe a three and a half. Cute, but not for everyone.
She’d long ago come to accept that she was a… oh, what was the term? An acquired taste.
The cover was pretty, but the story was a bit plain. Good for some fun, but the main character was annoying.
Still, Indy knew there was one special person who would see past all that. Who would want her as-is. To them, she’d be special. Ten out of ten, would recommend.
If that one person didn’t exist… well.
“I’d like to know what it’s like to mean something to someone. Just one person.Myperson. That’s not too much to ask, is it?” She pulled her shaking hands into her lap. “And if it was meant to be, if we were perfectly suited, right down to our atoms, then I wouldn’t have to worry that he’d change his mind. He’d stick around, even after he’d gotten to know me.”
“Stop it. Don’t you dare say that.”
But now that she’d started, there was no stopping.
“I want fireworks and passion and someone who won’t make fun of me if I cry when Joel dies. Who doesn’t mind when I zone out while I’m working or how obsessive I can get over a new project. Who can handle that I’ll live, breathe, and bleed every detail and probably talk of little else while I’m writing it.” She blew out a breath and clasped her hands on the tabletop. “And that I’ll have bad days, when I won’t want to work at all, or even talk with another person. I want someone who won’t mind that I will love them wholly and completely, with every part of myself, for better or worse, as long as I live.”
Ethan’s attention hadn’t swayed from her face. It left her off-kilter in the same way a shot of tequila did. Warm and gooey and lightheaded.
“I don’t know how any man has ever looked at you and not made you theirs, but I’m not about to make that mistake. Nick might be clueless, but I’m not.” His eyes were ablaze, his interest as clear as his words. Indy didn’t know how to look at him but couldn’t stand the thought of turning away.
“You’re incredible, and any guy who doesn’t see that is blind. But not everyone will deserve you, and that’s a good thing, because the lucky bastard who does will have to be pretty fucking special.”
