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I lost a part of me. I fell too quickly and too hard. I imagined a life where my dreams were possible until reality kicked in, and it was stolen with the snap of Chester’s fingers. Now, I’ve lost everything. I want so much more.
I want freedom.
I want love.
I want Chester, but all of them are out of reach. I’m grasping at straws, but I fail every single time to catch them. Now, I’m paying for dreaming and for falling in love. I’m engaged to some man, and I tried to get out of it by coming up with another solution, but all fairy tales come to an end. Mine didn’t have a happily ever after with any prince charming.
“I could always shit in his mailbox.”
“That’s disgusting,” I whisper to Topper, as fresh tears keep my cheeks wet. He turns over in my bed to face me. A sad smile covers his lips before he reaches out his hand to move some hair away. I sigh because his touch is soothing, and it heals that void inside me a bit.
Topper’s uplifting answers don’t hit me like they usually do. They don’t make me smile. It only reminds me over and over again of what I lost.
“You’re breaking my heart, sweets.”
“Good. Then we can share our experiences or complain about how much it hurts, because it hurts, Topper. So much.” A sob comes from deep within, and it feels like I’m dying. I can’t breathe, even though my lungs still work perfectly. I can’t fix the pain or lift myself up. Nothing works.
I know he’s not dead, but it feels like it. It’s like Chester disappeared from my life and left me to fend for myself.
“Life sucks,” I whisper to Topper. There’s not a light in my tunnel anymore. Just darkness and my trapped soul wanting to break free.
“Doesn’t it?” The part that bothers me the most is that Chester didn’t agree with the idea of love being enough to start a life together. It wasn’t convincing enough to fight for our future. He pushed it to the side like it was a no-brainer.
Chester couldn’t see further than a few weeks together. It had an expiration date, one I was aware of as well, but still, I challenged it to have it dismissed.
Why couldn’t love be enough?
It could have been my ticket to freedom, my out of this arranged marriage.
Lordy, I should have just stayed away from Chester Boyd, because this heartbreak is worse than I expected it to be.
“You should have warned me about Chester,” I whisper.
“I knew nothing about the guy except for what the general public knows. How did you want me to warn you, then? Stay away from the dude because he has a lot of money and probably a big dick … that doesn’t sound very convincing.” I chuckle briefly, but his comment only reminds me of the great sex we shared and how I’ll never feel him kiss me again. I could have survived on his kisses alone.
“He does have a big dick, and sadly, it’s not a cure for his huge-ass commitment issues.”
“I knew it. I smelled big dick energy the second I met him.” I roll my eyes, and for the first time since that painful night, I’m able to smile. Topper still has his magic, and I might force him to share it with me.
“You had to fall for the guy with insane commitment issues.”
“Don’t remind me,” I whine.
“Maybe Frederic was right to hate Chester after all. Maybe he’s not a good guy either, Evangeline. You could have just dodged a bullet.” I frown at Topper as I let the words sink in.
“No, Chester is not a bad guy,” I mutter. “Frederic could never be the good guy. I know him too well.”
“Then what happened between them, sweets, because those two really don’t like each other,” Topper whispers, but certain thoughts are already firing through my mind one by one. They’re strong, powerful, and it dries up my tears instantly.
“Chester is an honest man with his heart in the right spot, but Frederic is tainted, and if there’s anyone capable of starting a war, it’s Frederic,” I elaborate, while my mind works through every little detail of their history. Hate festers between them so powerfully, and I know only what Frederic has shared with me.
Topper blinks at me as he tries to piece everything together, as I’m slow to understand the issue at hand, but for once, it feels like the fog has been cleared and I have a vibrant picture in front of me.
I just need to figure out what’s on it.
“What if Frederic lied, sweets?” Topper mutters like the revelation could open Pandora's box. It just might, but this time, it could possibly unearth good things rather than bad.
“Yeah, what if he lied,” I repeat with a straight face as the revelation hits me hard.
