AllFreeNovel
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I grip the seat, my knuckles turning white with how hard I'm holding on. Nausea is building inside of me and I'm starting to hyperventilate. Noah’s concentrating on driving the boat, so he doesn't see me falling apart.
I'm in the icy water. Darkness surrounds me everywhere. Every time I hit the surface, I'm dragged back under as if the ocean is desperate to keep me in its grip.
"Skylar!" Noah’s voice cuts through the nightmarish memory.
That’s when I realize the boat has stopped and we’re right by a sandbar.
"Are you okay?" he asks, concerned.
I nod, trying to suck in a deep breath so I don't faint.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asks gently, squatting next to me and rubbing my skin softly.
"I hate the ocean," I finally spit out.
His eyes widen, almost comically, if I was capable of seeing humor at the moment.
"You hate the ocean?"
"I'm terrified of it."
"But haven't you lived by the water your entire life," Noah asks softly, trying to make sense of what I’ve said. "You've been on boats before?"
I rub my clammy hands on my knees, trying to get my heart rate under control.
“When I was little, I was out with my dad on his old fishing boat. There was a storm coming, so the waves were extremely rough. I knew, even at that age, it wasn’t a good day to go out. But he'd insisted, and I didn't want to let him down. While we were out, a particularly large wave hit us, and I fell overboard… And he took off, not even noticing that I'd fallen out of it."
Noah's face is scrunched in fury when I finish.
"Who saved you?" he murmurs, a tightness in his voice that wasn't there before.
"There was another boat that happened to pass by and saw me fall off, and they came over and saved me just in time." I shiver, lost in that moment again, of the inky blackness threatening to overtake me, and how cold and alone I felt in that moment. I didn't think there was any other place where you could feel as lonely as in the ocean’s depths.
"And you've been terrified ever since?"
I nod, wiping away some cold sweat from my upper lip that I'm sure is oh so attractive.
"Why didn’t you say anything?" he growls. "Why don't you ever say anything?"
I don't really have an answer, or at least not a good one. I'm so scared of bringing attention to myself, or letting someone down. It's like my cells are ingrained with the need to please rather than to make myself happy. It's a curse I've always had. It’s why I’m so angry all the time. Not at the world, but at myself. I let myself down.
I don't even realize that I'm crying until I feel his thumb on my face, slowly brushing my tears away.
"Hey now," he says softly. "None of that." I bite down on my lip and stare down at my hands.
"Sky, you never have to hide from me. Tell me what you love, tell me what you hate, just tell me. I want to know all of it."
I glance up at him, feeling like he actually means every word. The problem is, I'm sure that most people mean things and have good intentions when they say things like this, but it never actually works out the way it should. People break their good intentions all the time.
Or at least, in my experience, they do.
Noah stands up and walks over and starts the boat again.
"No," I squeak out, not ready for another hour or so on the waves. At least right here, by the sandbar, the water is exceptionally calm.
Noah immediately turns off the boat.
“I just need a couple of minutes," I whisper, hating how weak I feel in this moment.
