Page 119 of The Boy I Once Hated


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She stares into my eyes, trying to read something in them. Her gaze is so intense, that I have to turn my face away from her, fearing she’ll see something I’m not ready to divulge yet. Daisy shuffles onto the other side of the couch, pulling her knees up to her chin and hugging her legs to her chest while still facing my rigid form.

“Fine. I’ll tell you. Our stepbrother is a dick.”

“No arguments there,” I mumble, but then go silent in thought, wondering why she would say such a thing.

Daisy and Noah are usually on the same wavelength about…well…everything, really, and I’ve rarely heard them speak ill of each other. My curiosity is naturally piqued, and the urge to know what Noah has done to piss off my carefree sister is more than I can bear. I pretend to flick invisible lint from my knee, keeping my head lowered, waiting for her to spill her heart out and offer up the information without me having to pry it out of her.

“What did he do?” I finally ask when I realize that she needs a bit of prodding to get her going.

I try and play it cool not to let on how desperate I am to know what happened between them. I feel my sister’s scrutinizing gaze on me, the weight of it making it hard to sit still.

Shit.

She knows.

She knows!!!

My mind instantly runs rampant with a myriad of excuses to give her, when she surprises me with her next words.

“Let’s just say he poked his nose into my business, and I didn’t like it.”

My exhale of relief is immediate, giving me the fortitude to finally look at my sister head-on.

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry about? You didn’t do anything wrong. Did you?” she snaps.

I feel my cheeks heat up, but I shake my head in denial nonetheless.

“So you have no idea where the cocky prick is?”

Another shake.

“Hmm,” she grumbles, disappointed.

“Why? Why do you want to see him?”

“You know me,” she starts to say, taking her phone out of her back pocket. “Like our dear stepbrother, I hate not having the last word in a fight.”

I nod, even though I’m dying for her to give me more intel than that. But I can’t push Daisy to open up to me. Not where Noah is concerned. I haven’t exactly been very forthcoming with my own experiences with our stepbrother. It would be hypocritical of me to demand that Daisy share with me what happened between them when I’ve been keeping this huge secret from her.

Guilt assaults me yet again of how I’ve kept her in the dark for so long. I don’t really care if no one else knows what has been happening between Noah and me, but keeping it a secret from Daisy feels all sorts of wrong. She’s my best friend. She’s my only friend. I should be able to confide in her. But actually vocalizing my dirty little secret—that I’ve been sleeping with Noah in the dead of night—is not an easy feat to do. And now that he’s ended it, I’m not sure I’ll ever have the courage to come clean. Not to Daisy. Not to anyone. Outing my shame is not exactly something I’m looking forward to doing.

I honestly thought he had feelings for me.

That he felt, whatever this feeling is inside me, with the same intensity that I had.

But no.

He was just having fun.

Those were his words.

Hisexactwords.

And it gutted me.

Because while I’ve been slowly falling deeper and deeper in love with him, he was just passing the time. A wound this deep will take forever and a day to heal. And it would only make things worse if my sister found out, or God forbid, our parents.

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