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I flee from the couch. My heart fucking pounding. Sweat blanketing my forehead. My hands. My balls. Everywhere. Everything is sweaty. Everything hurts. I tear open the office door and slam it shut then slowly slide down to the floor.
Then I scream at the top of my lungs. The sound echoes off the surrounding walls, hitting my ears again and again and again.
I reach into the left pocket of my coat and pull out a bottle of pills. I always keep these on me because they’re the ones I need the most.
With two in my hand, I pop them in my mouth.
Dr. Edmonds doesn’t know it, but I’ve been trying to wean myself off all my medication. All of them. They make me so damn tired all the time. I live each day like a fucking zombie. Unless that’s what I want my whole life to be like, something needs to change. For years, I’ve done what Dr. Edmonds says. I’ve taken the pills he prescribed. I do the work. I do it all. Nothing is working. Nothing is helping. It’s been six years since I started treatment. When does the medication stop and my life begin?
I spit the pills into my palm then stuff them into my coat pocket.
I’m not sure what’s going to happen next, but these pills in my pocket instead of inside me tell me we’re all in for a hell of a ride.
CHAPTER11
RILEY
It’s beenthree days since Scar made it public knowledge that I’m a virgin. I’ve got not one, not two, but three offers to fix that ‘problem.’
Walking into my creative writing class today, I’m hopeful it’s all blown over. No weird looks. No whispers. I find myself smiling internally. If that’s even a thing. Either way, I feel relieved.
“Hey, Riley,” Zeke calls out from the back of the room. He’s the same jackass that cornered me three days ago. I didn’t learn his name until yesterday, when I overheard some guys down the hall calling him.
All hope diminishes when Zeke pats his knee, smirking. “Come sit on my lap and let's see what pops up.”
Ugh.
I flash him a smug look. “Zeke, if I sit on your lap, the only thing that will pop up is my fist to your face.” I set my bag on the table, standing behind my chair, and mutter under my breath, “Asshole.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Scar repeats for the dozenth time since she outed me.
“I hate you.”
She knows I don’t. But I’m still so angry and embarrassed…and annoyed with myself. There have been so many opportunities for me to lose my virginity, but for some reason, I never did. I’m not a prude or anything. I have no morals that I’m sticking to. Honestly, I want to fuck. I want to fuck hard and a lot.
And I’m going to, dammit.
The sound of someone thrashing against the back wall has my eyes bolting behind me. Everyone’s attention darts to the back of the room, including mine.
“Oh my god!” I gasp, hand covering my mouth.
Zeke is pinned against the wall with Ridge’s hand around his throat.
Professor Atkins shoves past students, making his way to them while shouting, “Ridge Foster! Put him down, immediately.”
The class stands by, silently watching, while trying to hear what Ridge is saying.
Soon, everyone is whispering and looking at me.
My body itches at the unwanted attention.
“What did I do?” I whisper to Scar, who shrugs because she’s none the wiser.
“Hey,” she says to a girl who moved from the back row to the middle where we are. “What happened?”
“He threatened Zeke if he ever talks to Riley again.”
My eyes widen in horror. “Me?” I clap my hands to my chest. “Why me?”
