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Eric Mathers
I don’t even wait until he takes his last breath before coating his clothing in lighter fluid. Then I light a match and toss it down, igniting him in flames.
I know what you’re thinking. I’m the bad guy, but he knew too much and that knowledge would hurt my girl.
He had to go.Nothing more to it.
* * *
Ever looked at something and immediately got locked under a spell? No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t peel your eyes away? Happens to me every time I see her. Nothing else matters. Not the fact that she sees me watching her. Not the people around us. At that moment, it’s just us.
God, she’s such a fucking toxic beauty. She has the body of an angel, but she walks with the demons. And I bet she loves every fucking second of it. She’s deadly, though her appearance would tell you otherwise.
Perched on the cement wall in front of the school, I draw in a long drag of my cigarette. I can’t stop watching the way she lights up all the surrounding faces. She’s got that ability. A glowing ray of sunshine to everyone she’s near.
Her wavy blonde hair, sporting a strip of deep purple in the front, glistens in the sunlight, exposing strands of darker shades beneath the gold. Just like her soul—bright, but with a tinge of darkness.
We’re alike in that way—both hiding the dark sides of ourselves. It’s painfully obvious we were destined to wreak havoc on the world together.
Sounds of laughter, created by just a few simple words on her part, send me jumping off the wall.
I wonder what she said that was so funny. If only I could be a perched butterfly on the shoulder of her white-knitted sweater.
My feet land with a thud, and I drop my cigarette to the sidewalk, stomping out the lit ember.
I’ve gotta stop doing this shit. Gotta quit watching her because it only makes me crazier. I fear one day, I’ll snap if I can’t have her. Be it my mind or her neck, somethingwillbreak if she isn’t mine.
“Snap the fuck out of it,” Maddox says, knocking me upside my head. Instead of socking him back, I do what he said and come back down to reality, while keeping one eye on her. He dips his chin toward my boot. “Pretty sure you’ve mutilated the cigarette enough.”
The toe of his boot presses firmly to mine, halting my movements. It isn’t until he stops, I realize Ihavemaimed the cigarette. The tobacco and shredded paper scatter, one with the tiny rocks on the pavement.
“Where the hell have you been all day? You weren’t in bio. Didn’t see ya at lunch either.”
He’s still talking, but everything he says slips through my ears as empty words as I watch Crew Vance approach Riley and her best friend, Scar. Crew is Scar’s boyfriend, so I’ll allow it, but if it were any other guy, I’d be forced to pull her away from the situation.
Maddox must’ve followed my train of sight because he says, “Look. If you don’t talk to her soon, I will. A girl like that doesn’t wait around forever for a guy who won’t even say hi.”
My neck twists, and he stops talking. He knows how I get when I’m around her. Knows about my selective mutism. It’s brought on by my anxiety, and nothing makes me more anxious than Riley Cross. It’s not something I’d wish upon anyone. It fucking sucks.
“Come on.” He throws an arm around my neck, rubbing his knuckles to the top of my head. “Let’s go find you a chick who can actually get words out of you.”
I follow Maddox’s lead, forcing his words out of my head, because if they linger, I’ll lose it. Glancing one last time over my shoulder, Riley’s eyes catch mine, setting my body on fire. I stop abruptly, hoping like hell she says something—motions me toward her or comes toward me. Anything. But when her eyes skate away from mine and she continues to engage in a conversation with her circle of friends, my heart thaws and rage consumes me.
It’s times like this that I don’t like her. Those moments where she pretends I don’t exist. Countless times I’ve watched her and I know she sees me, yet she doesn’t acknowledge my existence. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t she see me the way I see her?
One day she will.
Even if I have to make her.
“The freshman class is throwing a party tonight at Kappa Rho,” Maddox says, now getting my full attention. The Kappa Rho House is home to the only male fraternity at BCU. Being a smaller university, they only have one local chapter for each fraternity and sorority.I might loathe the members, but if the freshman class is throwing the party, I’ll certainly like one guest.
I step out from under his arm as we walk up the paved stairs to the main campus building. “It’s gonna be lit,” he continues. “Especially since they’re providing the booze and entertainment.”
“Which freshmen?”
Maddox’s shoulders rise, then fall. “I assume all of them.”
If the freshman class is throwing the party, that means Riley will be there. In which case, I’ll be there, too. This day just got better.
