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He shoots me a look of annoyance. “Are you serious?”
I nod.
“Jesus Christ, Riley. Get your ass in there.” He steps away from the ladder, shoulders slumped as he swings his hand back and forth. “Hurry your ass up.”
I know this is quite literally tearing him up inside, while it’s lighting a flame in me. Lev is doing something kind for someone else, and that someone else is me.
My heart swells momentarily. That is until he says, “Wash Maddox and Ridge’s scent off your pussy, too. Thought I smelt something stank down there.” Then my heart shrinks back to size.
“Fuck you.” I flip him my middle finger, but he grabs a hold of it.
“I intend to. Every single day until I’m normal again.”
I should be mad at how abrasive Lev is with me. But when he says things like that, I can’t help but feel sorry for him. “Who says you're not normal?” I’m taking a risk by prying because he’s still holding tight to my finger. One wrong word and he could snap it in half.
To my surprise, he drops my finger and turns the handle in the shower. Rust-colored water expels from the showerhead and I shriek. “Get your ass in if you’re gonna do this. We gotta go.”
I give it a few seconds, waiting for the water to run clear.
I’m disappointed I didn’t reach a breaking point with Lev. I was really hoping he’d open up to me, because it would have been monumental for this thing we have going on, even if it is just an arrangement. It would be proof that it’s working, and I might be inclined to stop fighting him so much. But I don’t think that’s what he really wants.
After a few seconds, the water runs clear. And with nothing left to say, I step into the shower and close the worn fabric curtain. I’m surprised to find the water is warm. There’s obviously no soap or shampoo, so I just let the water run down my body, rinsing off the dirt and potential mouse poop that was on me.
“I say I’m not normal,” Lev says from the other side of the curtain. “That’s who.”
My eyes widen and I’m stunned speechless. Is Lev actually revealing his inner thoughts to me?
I’m not sure what to say because I don’t want this to go south.So, I decide to speak from my heart.
“Just because you feel things differently than most people, doesn’t mean you’re not normal.”
He huffs. “Tell that to your boyfriends.”
“What do you mean? Ridge and Maddox are your best friends. They love you.”
“Maybe so. But that doesn’t mean they think I’m good for anything. Last night I stood outside our door and heard Ridge tell Maddox,” he mocks Ridge’s voice in a masculine tone, “this is fucking Lev. He’s not you. He’s not good. If my best friends can think that about me, then why wouldn’t I feel that way about myself?”
My chest tightens. Never would I have imagined I’d feel Lev’s pain, but I do.
I run my fingers through my hair, then turn off the water. Pulling back the shower curtain, I see him standing with his leg kicked up behind him against the wall. His arms are crossed over his chest and I’ve always been told that’s a sign someone is trying to protect themselves.
“Can I tell you what I think?” I ask, hoping he’ll hear me out.
“Nope,” he pops his lips and drops his foot from the wall, “get your fucking clothes on so I can walk your ass home.”
I can’t help the smile on my face as he walks away. He doesn’t have to walk me home. But he is, and I think it’s because he wants to. Today was a breakthrough with us, and a big part of me is actually excited to see what tomorrow brings.
CHAPTER20
RILEY
For the pasttwo days I’ve been walking around on cloud nine. My time with Lev at the cabin was eye-opening. It's strange, but I feel special in a way. Like I'm seriously the one who is going to save Lev from himself.
Yesterday, I returned to this cabin with the essential cleaning products, and I spent four hours out here washing walls and appliances. Today, I’ve enlisted help.
“Eww,” Scar grumbles as she picks up an old cup full of a thick moldy substance. She brings it to her nose and gags. “This is disgusting.”
“Just throw it out,” I tell her as I scrub the kitchen floor on my hands and knees.
