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It’s hard to be honest with so much at stake.
So I’ll feed him dishonestly and I’ll be the snake.
I’m not sure how long this will last, but I have to do whatever Lev says. He’s going to help me, but I have to help him, too. The thought makes my stomach turn because our ideas of helping each other are not the same thing.
“Since when do you and Lev even talk to each other?”
“Just recently. He approached me and was kind, helpful even. Offered to help me with an assignment.” I take Maddox’s hand in mine and pull him close. “You’re worrying over nothing. Everything is fine.”
“No.” He shakes his head, casting his gaze downward. “Nothing is ever fine when it involves Lev. And helping with schoolwork? That’s laughable.”
“Maddox,” I chuckle, “he’s your best friend. You, of all people, should know he’s not that bad.”
His eyebrows shoot to his forehead. “Not that bad? Ry, he’s a fucking animal. You need to stay away from him. The guy doesn’t have an empathetic bone in his body. Ridge and I are the only people in this entire world he’s got because he doesn't let anyone else get close enough to see inside his darkness. We’re the only ones who have seen it and refused to turn our backs on him.”
“Welllll,” I drag out the word, hating what I’m about to say. “Maybe it’s time someone else helped carry that weight. I think he needs another person in his life who cares.”
“And you think you’re gonna be that person? Not a chance. No way in hell.”
I inhale deeply and drop Maddox’s hand as I step around him. “In all honesty, that’s not really your call. I can be friends with whoever I want.”
“Friends?” He laughs. “If you seriously think you and Lev are going to be friends then…”
His words fall short, but I finish for him. “Then I’m, what? Crazy? Insane? Maybe I am. Or maybe I’m the one who needs more friends I can relate to. I’m not the virtuous person you’ve made me out to be in your head, Maddox. In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve…” I lower my voice to a whisper before saying, “I’ve killed someone.”
“Not the same thing.”
“Has Lev done that? Has he taken another life? Probably not. You make him sound like this murderous man. Yet, I’m the one who’s done the unthinkable. Maybe I’m the one who the world needs protection from, not him.”
Saying those words out loud has me questioning who I even am. This isn’t me. I know I’m not a monster.
Nothing Maddox says will make me break because I have to do this. But I also know him and Ridge are not going to make this easy. Maddox is spot on when he speaks of Lev. He really is a monster. A sadistic man with no regard for human life. I don’t doubt for a second that Lev would throw me under a bus just for the hell of it. I don't trust him at all, but my options have run dry. My life is on the line. From one sinner to the next, Lev and I are both fighting to survive.
“You’re upset.” Maddox reaches for his bag. “That wasn’t my intention. I just don’t want you trusting someone who may not have your best interest at heart.”
I get it. He’s looking out for me, and I can’t be mad at him for that. What I’m most concerned about is how Ridge is going to react. I know Maddox will run to him and tell him everything, and that thought scares the shit out of me. Maddox gets upset, while still remaining calm. Ridge doesn’t. Not when it comes to me.
* * *
“You've gotta be kidding me,” I mumble under my breath as I read the text message Ridge just sent me.
Ridge: Stay the fuck away from Lev. Nothing good can come from you two ‘hanging’ out.
I shake my head in annoyance as I walk to the round table in the student center, where I usually have lunch with the guys. For a while, we were meeting outside, but the temperature is quickly dropping as we approach the end of fall. Most of the time it’s just Ridge and Maddox—sometimes Lev. Today, Lev isn’t around, and I can only assume that’s Maddox’s doing.
All eyes lift to me as I approach the table. "Got your text,” I tell Ridge as I set my bottled lemonade on the table and unwrap my ham sandwich. I pull out a chair and sit down beside Maddox, crossing my legs under the table.
Ridge is directly across from us, his eyes piercing me like daggers. His mouth is a thin, colorless line, and I can feel the tension radiating from him.
Before either of them can say anything, I begin, “I’d like to know why either of you think you can tell me what to do?”
“It’s for your own good,” Maddox tells me, but his words only piss me off. I knew he’d go straight to Ridge. I knew they’d both try and convince me to stay away from Lev.
I think it’s sweet they want to protect me, and it makes me feel good knowing they care. But I’m not a girl who likes being told what to do.
“How do you know what’s good for me?” I set my sandwich down on a napkin, my appetite suddenly gone. I look at Ridge, who is still silently scowling at me. “I’m talking to both of you.”
Ridge licks his lips, expression stoic. “We can always bring Scar into this. I’m sure she’d have a few choice words.”
