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“For the record, she isn’t my girlfriend, and who I fuck in the lab or anywhere else is none of your business. Be careful, Rubiana. It looks like you spend too much time keeping tabs on where I stick my dick.”
“It’s pretty easy when every available female in the school advertises it for you. So fuck you if you think I’m keeping tabs on anything at all about you.”
He stands up and looks down at me like I’m nothing and scratches his dark brow. “Pass. I might catch something, or worse, smell like you.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, tasting blood to keep my bottom lip from trembling. His words slice through me like a knife. But his words have their desired effect. They break me apart inside, and my next words are solely based on self-preservation.
“Gee, Ky. It looks like you’re too strung up on how I smell. What would your girls think?”
He chuckles. “They would know I would never give you the time of day.”
I know, Ky. You have made it clear I mean nothing to you.
I only wish I knew why.
I wish it didn’t hurt so much.
But it does. For the first time, I wish I never jumped that fence. Then maybe, I would never have to walk around with a hoodie hiding the scars from my past.
Rubi
AFTER SCHOOL, Iwait until Tyler takes off for football practice and make my way down the block toward Ky’s house. His backyard ends on the edge of the upscale neighborhood. What separates the back of his house and the street is a space that has grass and is lined with trees like an access route. I didn’t know what it was when I was kid, but my curiosity was piqued when I saw the roof of his house between the trees.
The roof of his house looked like a massive building. It was huge, but I never saw inside his house. I guess he wanted to keep my visits a secret. I didn’t know why, but at the time, I was afraid his parents would call the police on me or something.
I finally reach the back fence of his house and place my foot over the fence and swing my leg up and jump down, hitting the leaves on the edge of his yard and making a crunch. I walk around the massive tree and make my way to the other corner where the two trees would meet, making it easy for my ten-year-old skinny self to climb over. It seemed so tall back then, but now that I’m older it’s only a six-foot climb.
I jump down and turn around and my eyes water. Where the pallets of the treehouse were that we built when we were kids is now burned. The trees are charred and black, ruined. Dried leaves are falling, and I’m surprised the trees didn’t fall over in the fire. Wood pieces are in a pile on the ground, some still the color of wood, others rotted by years of rain, snow, and the sun making it look like a pile of rubble. Instead of cleaning it up, it’s still there like a memory.
I hear the crunch of grass and leaves behind me and I turn around. Ky is standing there with black sweatpants on and a black hoodie that is unzipped, showing his hard chest and ab muscles. It looks like he was working out.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asks in a hard tone. “Get the fuck off my property?”
“Why?” I blurt, my voice breaking. “Did you burn it?”
He stands there watching me, crossing his hands over his chest. His gaze unflinching. “Leave.”
“No. Not until you tell me why? Why do you hate me so much? I never did anything to you.”
“You’re right, you haven’t. I just don’t like you, and I burned it when I knew you weren’t going to come back. I got your letter, and it made me realize I was a stupid kid who made friends with a girl who was a liar. A girl I didn’t really know, and have no interest in ever getting to know again.”
“I couldn’t. They––”
He walks forward and I look up as he towers over me. “I want you to leave me alone. I want you to get off my property. I don’t want to be your friend, and I have no interest in you whatsoever. Not even for a pity fuck. Stop being pathetic and let it go. We are nothing. We never were.”
I nod as hot tears slide down my cheeks, blinding my vision. I don’t want to cry, but hearing him say these things is breaking me.
I take a deep breath and move to the side to walk past him, but he blocks me. I thought I could get out down the side of the house to walk back to Tyler’s house.
“Nope. You go back the same way you came. The next time you jump over the fence, I’ll call the cops, and I don’t give a fuck if you spend the rest of your sentence in jail as an adult. You are not my problem.
He walks closer and I take a step back, but he backs me up against tree. “Don’t do this to us,” I plead.
He smiles, but it’s not warm. “There is no us, Rubiana. There never was an us. I was just a stupid kid who didn’t know any better who allowed a dumb girl to hang out with me to pass the time. You are nothing. You mean nothing. I don’t know how clear I have to make this for you.”
I sniff and I try to swallow a sob that is trying to escape. I close my eyes, hoping this is a nightmare. But when I open them, he is in my face. His beautiful face rigid, angry, and dark.
“Why do you hate me?”
