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His arms are caging me in the small room that looks like a storage closet. It is too dark, so I can’t see anything besides the tiny stream of light coming from under the door highlighting his face. When someone goes silent it’s because they know, or they had something to do with what I’m asking.
His fingers tip my chin up so I can focus on him. “I told them to do it. It was me.”
“Why?”
“You asked who was behind it and I told you, so now it is my turn.”
I want to kick and punch him. I want to hurt him for hurting me. For treating me like I’m nothing. I’ll tell him and I know why he is mad. He thinks I chose Cesar after I left and never came back to him but he doesn’t understand.
“Yes,” I whisper. I watch as his fists curl against the wall by my head and I close my eyes.
“Why? Why him?” He chokes on the last part like he is in agony.
My eyes begin to well with tears. “Because he was there for me when they tried to rape me.” I close my eyes and tears run hot down my cheeks. His breathing begins to pick up like he is struggling for air, but he doesn’t speak. “I was sixteen, and that is the age of consent in the state of Georgia. One of the teenagers kept coming on to me trying to convince me to have sex. I was staying with a couple who liked to take in kids so they could collect a check. There were six of us and I was the only female at the time. Cesar had just gotten back from a stint in juvie, and he was supposed to come back that night. No one messed with him because of who he was. I was coming out of the bathroom and he was waiting for me like a predator. He pinned me hard against the wall and said he was going to take it because no one cared enough about me anyway. He shoved his fingers so hard into me that I felt the trickle of blood. I tried to scream and scratch him, but he was bigger and stronger than me. He was about to shove his dick inside me when Cesar saw him and dragged him outside through the door. I was on the floor in pain. Cesar came back and cleaned me up. He waited and he talked to me about what happened, and then one night, he took me to another room and he made me forget. He took it away because I wouldn’t eat and I would stay up at night afraid.”
“What did he take away, Rubi? He fucked you. You gave him what wasn’t his in the first place.”
I sobbed and lowered my head. “He made me forget. He made me feel beautiful and he never stopped telling me that I was anything less than beautiful. No one had ever whispered to me and told me that I was pretty, or that I meant something to someone.” I grip him by the shirt with my hands, not caring that I had tears coming out of my eyes as I pulled him close so he could hear me. “He also never told anyone to call me a whore.” I push him back and run out of the closet.
Rubi
AFTER THE WEEKof hell and avoiding Ky at all costs, ashamed that I revealed something so personal, I never told anyone that story…and now I told Ky. I was angry, hurt, and I’m just tired of him.
Plus, I keep waking up in the bed. Bags of cat food and kitty litter also keep popping up in my room. One day I noticed a new litter box. It is a self-cleaning one. I refuse to ask Caroline because I don’t want to see the look of pity she gives me all the time. I can only take so much. It is bad enough I get it from Stephen.
But today is Saturday and it’s finally my birthday. Tyler says they are doing something for me at Ky’s house because he has a heated pool, and his father is away somewhere, but I notice they said father and not parents. Weird.
I brush my teeth and make my way to Tyler’s room and knock. When he opens the door, he is in his boxers, and I think he has someone in there. But he is blocking the door and it really isn’t my business.
“Rubiana,” he says, pulling the door closed behind him. Whoever it is, he doesn’t want me to know. I get it…privacy.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to ask if you think having a party is really a good idea. Especially at Ky’s house. You know he isn’t too fond of me. He practically kicked me out of his house last weekend. And I don’t want any more drama.”
His expression turns serious, and he crosses his arms over his chest. “Did Ky say or do anything to you. He is supposed to back off and stop bothering you.”
“No. Nothing like that. I’m just not used to a party, or think it is necessary,” I lie about the first part.
What I want to say is:He cornered me in the bathroom during your game, had people call me names and graffiti my locker. Spread rumors that I’m a whore and finger fucked me on a couch in front of two cheerleaders eating each other out. He has been a total gentleman, and the little fact that he hates me all because I left him a goodbye letter and didn’t contact him because I had been stuck in foster care since I was eleven years old was just the icing on the proverbial birthday cake.
He looks relieved and gives me a grin. “We want to throw you a birthday party. Mom had a cake made to cut at the house after. We will have a little party with Abby, Chris, Ky, and some kids from school. It will be cool, I promise. We can leave early if you want.”
I don’t want to seem ungrateful, so I cave. “Alright, I will give it a try. I don’t want to disappoint Caroline. She has been really nice to me, and I haven’t thanked her for getting Hope food and kitty litter,” I say as I walk backward toward my room to get ready and he looks confused, but I don’t want to keep him from whoever he has in his room. I run my mouth off topic not really knowing what to say. “The new litter box is super cool, and it cleans itself.”
I don’t want Tyler to think I’m ungrateful even though it bothers me that Caroline tries to be nice out of pity.
He smiles and shakes his head, turning the handle and letting himself in his room. “I’ll see you in an hour downstairs.”
I close the door and open my closet to grab a pair of old ripped jean shorts and a hoodie to get ready. I don’t have that many options, but it is not like I’m getting in the pool, so I figure I’ll just wear a bra under the sweater, so I don’t melt from the heat. Caroline tried to convince me to get a swimsuit, but I declined and told her the truth. I don’t know how to swim. I never got the chance to learn. They don’t take foster kids swimming, and none of the houses I was sent to had a swimming pool, or access to one.
I get to Ky’s house and follow Tyler through the front door and out to the back patio. There is grunge rock playing, and I can hear people laughing and jumping in the pool.
I follow Tyler as he walks out and spots Ky and says, “Hey, Ky, what’s up?”
I look around and see people sitting around the patio, and when I think everything is going to be cool, Jen and Nicole are here with the same brunettes who were chatting up Ky last weekend.
Ky walks up to Tyler and gives him a bro hug, or whatever guys do to greet each other. I can hear Tyler mutter something to Ky, but he just shrugs his shoulders.
“I told Amber from the cheer team she could come when she called me earlier and asked what I was up to. Jen and Nicole obviously invited themselves.”
