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Every tremor your skin made when I held you called to me. Do you remember, Jess? Do you remember coming apart for me? You are not strong enough to carry what you feel alone, Jess. But you have me. You can search for me in every stranger’s eyes, trying to get that fix you so desire, only to find out that in the end, all you ever needed…was me. I’m immortal between the lines. You can see me, but I’m not really there. Only for you do I exist.
Zero
I drop the letter on the bed and slide my finger to the spot he touched. To the spot that gave me the release I needed, feeling the slight ache. I slide my fingers and rub myself and close my eyes, remembering the man in the plague mask and what he gave me without judgment. No face. Not even a name that seemed real, but he wasreal. He didn’t hurt me like I thought he would. He just showed up like a shadow in the dark, peeling itself from the wall.
I pleasure myself to the thought of someone I can’t see but only feel. I should be ashamed or feel crazy for what I allowed to happen, but I don’t. This is my secret. Apparently, a secret that can’t leave the recess of my mind because my mystery man doesn’t exist. There is nothing to report. Nothing to tell. No evidence except for me coming all over his leather-gloved fingers and me falling asleep in his arms, exhausted only to wake up alone.
No trace.
No fingerprints.
He could have done what he wanted and there was nothing I could have done about it. But he didn’t and I wish I knew why.
CHAPTER12
Jess
After class, I enter the bar with the Babylon sign flashing as I make my way inside, looking for Gia at our usual spot in the same booth. She smiles as I slide in, but I notice her fidgeting.
"Is everything alright?" I ask.
Her dark hair looks shiny, even in the dim light as she nods. "Yeah, I'm just nervous with class and the other situation. Meaning, Warren. I haven't seen him, but I bet they are gunning for him. Waiting for when the time is right.”
"What can I get you two girls?" The waiter asks, coming up to our booth with a smile.
"I'll have a Black Plague," I say with a smile. The fact that the mask is on the beer has me almost laughing at the irony.
Gia raises her brow. "Really." I nod. She turns to the waiter. "Cranberry and vodka please."
Once the waiter leaves, she asks, "What's up with the beer?"
"I'm trying to blend in with the underground. "At least we know why they chose to stock it here. We also know that this place isn't owned by some bar owner who got lucky years ago when he invested across the street from Kenyan."
She snorts. "I agree with that."
"Have you seen him?"
She knows I'm referring to Warren when she shakes her head slowly, looking at the bar's entrance every few seconds. If she only knew I'm just as paranoid because we both have a stalker.
I hear the squeak of the door to the bathroom open from the hallway in the back, and Veronica saunters over with that predatory smile of hers. Great. The beauty of evil. Just what we needed.
She walks over and slides in next to me. Gia's eyes narrow in her direction, and I can feel Veronica's eyes on me.
"How are the famous ladies of Kenyan doing this evening? I would have thought you would be out polishing."
She means fucking. Of course, that is all she thinks about. It is the first thing she talks about when she opens her mouth. It makes you wonder if she was groomed to be this way. Created by someone. It makes you feel sorry for her. Almost. If she wasn't so fucking evil.
"I wouldn't say famous," Gia replies.
Veronica whips her hair to the side and smiles with her freshly applied red lipstick, flashing a smile toward Gia. "You are fucking the Bedford twins, sweetheart. You live with them and practically breathe the same air. You are watched by people they employ when you think they are not watching. Everyone that values their life knows not to touch a hair on your head or the muff on your cunt."
"Who is everyone?" I interject.
Her head turns and her eyes slide down my face. "Everyone that needs to know. As for you––" She lowers her voice. "Six months of fucking left. You are on everyone's radar. Not a fan favorite amongst the ladies. Well…except me, of course. You know what I like. Don't you," she says, giving me a wink.
"Fuck off, Veronica." Reid's voice booms from behind the booth. Gia looks up and smiles, relieved by the interruption. Dravin and his brother slide in next to Gia and her cheeks blush.
It is crazy how you can't tell them apart. Even their names sound the same, even if they’re spelled differently, but to Gia, it is like they are one and the same.
