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“What’s the trigger?” She darted a glance toward him and her heart nearly melted. How was it possible that he cared? How did she tell him that he was the only man who had ever made her crave the closeness that usually brought them on? She sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him about the nightmares. Still avoiding eye contact, Thalia shrugged, as if the motion itself would toss off the weight of herembarrassment.
“Don’t be embarrassed, fossa.” Grant reached across the counter and tilted her chin so that she had to look at him. “I’m only asking so I don’t do something that will cause it. I know I can be demanding and pushy when it comes to sex, but I can dial it back a few clicks if it’s toomuch.”
She shook her head, dislodging his grip on her chin. “No, please.” More heat crept into her cheeks and she reached for the glass of water, taking a long sip before setting the glass back down. God, how could she explain something she didn’t fully understand herself? “It’s…I get this heavy, suffocating feeling in my chest when I’m close to someone that way. I mean, normally I can’t stand for a man tobe…”
“Ontop?”
Thalia nodded, still unable to meet his gaze, his silence as unnerving as having his gun stuck in her face. “But it’s different with you. I don’t know what caused it thistime.”
“Differenthow?”
Geeze, he was going to make her say it. “It just is, okay? I don’t know why or how. I just want you that way. I don’t want you to changeanything.”
“Thalia, look atme.”
She straightened with the zing that ran along her spine in response to the command in his voice. She lifted her head to look at him, the gold in his eyes swirling with intent. “You will tell me if I do anything that makes you feel like that.” She hesitated at first, but couldn’t refuse him. She nodded and he shook his head. “Yes or no, fossa. I need to know that youunderstand.”
“Yes.”
“And you won’t hide it from me again. I want to know you, Thalia, all of you, for however long this lasts.Understand?”
“Yes.” She nodded. Strangely enough, she didn’t feel like a child who had just been scolded. It went against her nature to give that much to him but she couldn’t deny him. Despite what she’d told herself, she wanted to know himtoo.
“And you’ll let me help you dress your wounds nexttime.”
Her hand cupped the bandage she’d applied to her shoulder before she’d left the bathroom. “Ican—”
“Yes, fossa. That’s all I need tohear.”
“Yes.”
She scoffed when Grant cut a bite of food from his own plate and held the fork to her lips. “Indulgeme.”
Just like that, he shifted back into a playful, irresistible jerk, as if she hadn’t had one of her darkest secrets ripped from her soul for all to see. She hesitated, wondering what kind of game he was playing, but thoughtwhat the hell. She could play, too. She let her eyelids droop as she leaned forward and slowly wrapped her lips around his fork. Any point to the game was lost on her when flavors she couldn’t describe exploded on her tongue. “Mmm.” Her jaw ached from the tangy spices and the meat was so rich and tender. “That’s fantastic. What isit?”
“Zebra.” Grant smiled and took a bite of hisown.
Even if she’d been lost in a desert for a week without food, if someone had offered her zebra she probably would have refused it. No. Not probably. She’d eaten some pretty strange foods in India, but never once had she imagined eating a Zebra. Simple fact was, it was delicious. “I’ve never had zebrabefore.”
Grant chuckled and cut another bite for her. “It’s socially unacceptable in the States, and illegal. Most people think they would rather starve than to eat something like this. Then again, most of those people have never known what it’s truly like to be starved. They’re just talking out their asses. It’s actually quite a common foodhere.”
She’d expected him to jump right into the next interrogation phase of their evening, but it seemed he had different plans. As he continued to feed her, which she found more erotic and intimate than she ever thought it would be, he kept the conversation light. They talked about different places they’d been and their favorite foods and books. When he asked her about her musical tastes she couldn’t help but tease him about what she’d found on hisiPod.
“Is it so terrible that I like the symphony and classical music?” His blush surprised her. She didn’t think Grant could be self-deprecating enough to beembarrassed.
“No,” she laughed. “Issa listened to it all the time. He was a huge Tchaikovskyfanatic.”
Grant leaned back in his chair and studied her for a moment before he picked up his glass of water and took a drink. He moved his plate to the side and leaned his elbows on the counter, his eyes turning from playful to calculating before he spoke. “Tell me aboutIssa.”
Twelve
He watchedas she dabbed her plump lips with her napkin and pushed her plate away, all twelve layers of those damn iron shields she used to protect herself falling back into place. All his hard work using small talk to loosen her up swirled down the drain with a singlequestion.
“What do you want toknow?”
Grant settled back into his seat and shrugged. “Anything you want to tell me.” When she didn’t immediately answer he asked what seemed like the easiest questions to answer. “What did he do? What was helike?”
She shrugged, her eyes focused on a spot on the wall behind him. “He owned a transport company in Mumbai. Regional trade mostly, some internationalexports.”
