Page 12 of Rocker


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As I expected, it isn't Phillip, but I'm so surprised by the sender that I'm saved from what I did the last time I got a message, which was bawl into my couch because an automated message reminded me my phone bill would soon be due.

Noa Lowell: Hey! You're in town, right? Up for brunch today?

I bite my lip, considering. I've never had close girlfriends growing up, and the last few years have been so hard. Phillip's sister-in-law and I got along right away, and we text each other funny pictures occasionally, but I wouldn't really consider her a friend. Yet. Isn't this how you make friends? Doing stuff with them? Confiding in them when your life has turned upside down, and your heart is broken?

I could really use a friend right now. My thumbs hover over the screen for another second before I make up my mind.

Juliet Bower: Sure! Let's do it!

Noa is almost intimidatingly perfect, or she would be if it weren't for her easy-going smile and the adorable, cherub-like baby in her arms who has drooled a dark patch onto the shoulder of her white blouse.

Even amongst the well-dressed, chic LA women seated at the outdoor dining tables around us, Noa stands out like a sore thumb. The moment she walked into the place, baby on her hip and iced coffee straw between her lips, a collective murmur had gone through the restaurant. If they didn't recognize her from the two major blockbuster movies she's done, they sure did for snagging up one of Hollywood's most sought-after bachelors.

"Hey, Jules!" She beams when she approaches the little metal table I'm seated at, leaning down to kiss my cheek. "It's been a while! How are you?"

"Oh, you know." I shift uncomfortably, watching as she sits down and begins riffling through a diaper bag for something. I'm not sure how much Phillip has told Cash and Noa, by extension. She knew I was in town and not on tour, so presumably they knowsomethinghappened, but I'm not about to drop the whole story on her. For one, brunch between friends doesn't usually end with one of them bawling all over the crepes.

Noa looks over at me, raising her eyebrows at my noncommittal response. "Oh god, you too?"

"Me?"

She rolls her eyes. "Cash can't getanythingout of Phillip. He fessed up that you'd quit, but that's it. He keeps saying he's too busy with the tour to talk about it." Finding what she was looking for in her bag, Noa gives her baby a rubber teething toy and leans back in her seat, clearly relieved. "I'm so sorry I had to bring him along. Cash totally forgot to tell me he had a meeting."

"It's no problem." I look at the baby, Bennett, warily. I don't have much experience with kids, especially little ones, and I can't quite get rid of the nagging, self-conscious worry that they won't like me whenever I'm around them.

"You can hold him if you want." Noa offers kindly, and before I can decline, she's reached over and plopped the little boy right in my lap. He's warm and surprisingly heavy and stares up at me with a bemused expression.

"Hey there." I coo, trying to sound upbeat and happier than I feel. "Your name is Ben, isn't it? You're gettingso big."

Apparently deciding I'm to be trusted, Ben turns his attention back to his teething toy and smacks the table's edge with a chubby fist.

"Anyway." Noa, not to be deterred, leans forward with wide eyes. "What happened?"

I swallow back the bitter taste in my mouth. I don't know what to say. The truth feels like too much, especially for someone I'm barely friendly with and who is related to Phillip. If I really am pregnant, this baby will be Noa's niece or nephew. The whole world seems to be shifting under my feet, and I don't know where I'll be standing when it stops.

Noa reaches out to give my arm a little squeeze. "You don't have to talk to me, Juliet, but you can if you want. I didn't have a lot of friends when Cash and I first started seeing each other, and it's hard to figure out those pesky Lowell men on your own."

I hesitate, fighting back the urge to cry before I burst out the awful, horrible truth that I've been holding back all day. "I'm late."

Noa's jaw goes slack. "Late as in…."

"Yeah." I lay my cheek against Ben's downy hair.

Leaning back in her chair, Noa stares at me in disbelief. "So you guys were together? We always wondered-"

"No." I cut her off, feeling the familiar stab of pain in my heart at the thought. "I mean, we had sex. Obviously."

"Obviously." Her lips twitch, and I know what she's thinking. Her husband, Cash, is the more clean cut of the Lowell brothers, but he and Phillip possess the same masculine magnetism that makes sensible women do all kinds of unsensible things.

I laugh sadly. "Obviously."

"Come on." Noa waves off the server apologetically and reaches over to take Ben from my arms. "Forget brunch. Let's go find out. You'll feel so much better once you know, I promise."

After a quick stop at the pharmacy, Noa drives us across town to the sprawling mid-century house she shares with her husband and son. It's beautiful, but I can barely mumble a compliment on the interior design before Noa has practically shoved me into a downstairs bathroom, calling, "I'll be right outside!" before shutting the door with a snap.

I stand there for a moment, staring at myself in the mirror. The whole world feels surreal right now like I'm dreaming all of this, and soon I'll wake up back in my bed. I wish that were the case, but as my hands fumble with the cardboard box and I read the simple instructions three times, I know I won't be waking up from this.

In my heart, I know what that test is going to say. I know because, if I'm being honest with myself, I wanted to get pregnant. We didn't talk about birth control. He didn't use a condom or pull out. Who does that if they aren't trying to get pregnant? Who gets pregnant with a man you aren't formally in a relationship with? A man who clearly didn't feel the same way about me as I did about him.

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