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Wiping my eyes, I sit down to pee and carefully set the test on Noa's gleaming white vanity just as there's a knock on the door. "I know you're probably crying in there, but I've got chocolate cake out here when you're done!"
A water laugh bubbles from my lips, and I push the door open to find Noa and Bennett on the other side. "You don't have to be so nice to me. I'm sure you think I'm an idiot."
Noa's face falls. "No.No, Jules. You're not. Don't talk about my friend like that." She reaches out to take my hand, giving it a little squeeze. "I got pregnant with Ben like five minutes into dating Cash. If you're an idiot, I am too."
My heart aches. I don't know Cash that well, but I do know he's been utterly devoted to his wife since the day they met. I doubt Noa ever wondered whether he'd be by her side through it all.
"I haven't even looked yet," I admit, nodding back to the test on the bathroom counter. "It should be done," I shake my head miserably. "I guess I already know what it's going to say."
"Do you want to be a mother?" Noa asks cautiously, her eyes searching my face.
I shrug. "I guess I do,"Not like this, though.I don't speak to my own mother, and Phillip hasn't tried to speak to me once since I quit. I want what Noa has, a family, people to love, and who loves me more than anything. I don't want to be alone in the world anymore.
little bean
Cash moves into the room, dropping his keys on the coffee table, and leans down to pick his son off the play mat, eyeing us curiously. "Juliet, it's good to see you. How, uh, are you?"
I can't help but giggle, wiping my eyes. I'm sure I look terrible. I haven't been sleeping, I've thrown up every meal I've eaten for the last week, and I just found out I'm pregnant with Cash's niece or nephew.
"Read the room, Cash." Noa teases him, crossing the room to wrap an arm around his waist and kiss his cheek in greeting.
Cash, who still looks disarmed by the sight of his brother's former assistant crying in his living room, softens at his wife's touch. "Can I get you two anything? Mimosas?"
"Wine. Yes. Absolutely." I say unthinkingly, desperate to drown some of my misery. Noa's shocked face has me rethinking the impulse, though. "What?" I ask her self-consciously.
"Juliet.You can't." She hisses back meaningfully.
"I can't? Oh, shit, I can't. I mean-" I press my hand over my mouth, grimacing. How could I have forgotten? Also, I just swore in front of Cash and Noa's baby.
All the while, Cash is looking between me and his wife with a look of dawning realization. His throat bobs. "So you're…."
I smile weakly. "Apparently."
I don't know what I'm going to do, but as Noa guides me into the kitchen, chattering away about a virgin margarita recipe Cash made all the time for her when she was pregnant and all the boxes of maternity clothes that she just bets will fit me perfectly, I press my hand over my still-flat stomach and allow myself to feel just the tiniest bit happy.
It won't all be sunshine and rainbows. I know Phillip probably won't be happy when he inevitably hears from me or someone else, but I won't force anything on him. My little bean deserves to be loved completely.
Even if I have to do it alone.
Chapter Seven
Phillip
Mybusinessmanager,Carol,has a new assistant for me the morning after Juliet quits.
The new guy, Peter, is perfectly capable and probably very qualified, but just the sound of his voice puts my teeth on edge. There are only so many times I can hear"Yes, Mr. Lowell"or"I have that for you, Mr. Lowell"before I snap. The little prick hasn't flipped me off or called me an asshole a single time in the month since he showed up at my hotel room door, my coffee order in hand. To some, this would be ideal in an assistant, but after nearly four years of Juliet's talking back, sweet smiles, and calling me on my shit, I have no idea what to do withPeter.
"Can I get you anything before we land, Mr. Lowell?" I stare blankly up at the guy hovering over my seat like the world's ugliest, most unnecessary flight attendant.
It doesn't take me long to think about it. "Fuck off."
Peter doesn't even blink. "Right away, sir."
In the seat beside me, Riley waits until Peter has fucked off to the back of the plane before voicing his opinion under his breath. "Still haven't talked to her?"
I grit my teeth. "What is there to say?"
A lot. There's a lot I want to say to Juliet, but the least I can do is leave her in peace.
