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The doors slid closed as he winked at me, a glimpse at the man he portrays on the outside and perhaps wishes he could be all the time.
I was simply thankful I had the elevator to myself, so the erection straining against the fabric of my pants wasn’t so damn obvious.
MIKE
Three days of hoping this feeling would pass. This need that seemed to overrun my thoughts since meeting Jacob. But it didn’t pass. If anything, it got stronger, and that made me nervous.
Frank strode into my office without knocking, and the huge grin on his smug face told me he was in a shit-stirring mood as if he was ever in any other mood.
“Who’s the blondie you were eye-fucking the other day?”
My eyes widened for a split second before I managed to keep my expression neutral, but it was too late. Frank had seen the reaction and was already chuckling as he sat across from me, leaning his forearms on my desk.
There was no point in lying.
“Macintyre’s son.”
Frank whistled in appreciation. “Damn, Mike, I thought I was the only one who fucked within the business.”
“Used to, you mean?”
His grin was no less smug at my retort. In fact, it widened when he thought of Charlotte and tossed a glance out the window that overlooked the city as though he could see her working in her office three blocks away. “You know what I meant.”
“We’re not fucking, and it’s not within the business. I don’t go around fucking my employees.”
Frank held his hands up. “Fair call. But why not? With the fucking, I mean. He was cute and judging by the growing bulge in his pants when you were whispering in his ear, he wants you.”
I growled. “Why were you looking?”
“Don’t get territorial with me, Mike. I’m the one asking questions here.” When I didn’t answer, Frank sighed and leaned back in the chair, it squeaking in protest to his weight. “Listen, Mike, I know you bonded, and I know it was severed. The scars speak for themselves.” I moved to roll my sleeves even though they were already down, and Frank watched the movement. “We’ve known each other for a long time, before Earth, and have worked together here for over a decade. Don’t you think it’s about time you told me what happened?”
I watched him without speaking. Frank had never asked before, and although he was an arrogant son of a bitch, he did care about those close to him in his own way. I assumed he hadn’t asked previously through some level of respect for my privacy, knowing if I wanted to tell him, I would. But it had been so long now that telling him would feel more like a betrayal than keeping it a secret. I was young and stupid enough to bond with someone I didn’t know as well as I thought I did, and in doing so, I created a monster, corrupting Tate until he was as bad as the very demons I had come to Earth to get away from.
How do I tell Frank I’m afraid of doing it again?
When I was silent for too long, Frank continued, “Fine, don’t tell me yet, but when you want to, you can.” He was met with more silence. This time because I didn’t know what to say, as an offering for an open conversation wasn’t exactly his style. Perhaps his human partner, Charlotte, really had changed him. “But whatever it was, you need to stop punishing yourself. You haven’t dated in ages. Why not give yourself a break?”
“Because I don’t want to hurt him.”
Frank chuckled. “So work one out before you fuck him,” he said, miming jacking off with his fist. “Get some of the pent-up energy out so you have more control of your demon.”
“That’s not what I meant…”
Frank’s cell rang, and he threw me a wink and a smirk as he picked up the call and left my office.
How could I admit I had lost the one outlet I had for controlling my demon? What if I ended up being worse for Jacob than I was for Tate?
I wanted Jacob in a way I hadn’t wanted anyone in a long time, and while I wished Frank were right and I owed myself a break, forgiving myself was turning out to be an impossible task.
Jacob insisted it was his turn to choose the venue for dinner, and while my lip lifted into almost a snarl, he simply chuckled as I mumbled, “I didn’t know we were taking turns.” His laughter waivered at the implication between the lines. Pulling up to a stoplight, I took the chance to stare him down hard. I loved the way he seemed to unravel under my gaze, and since ourrendezvousin the elevator, I’d been thinking about little else apart from getting him in bed.
That and Tate. I’d successfully pushed him from my mind for years, where he only haunted the darkest recesses of my memory I tried my best to ignore. But he was back, larger than life as always, and reminding me of what I had done to him when we bonded and the monster I’d created.
These conflicting desires, coupled with the fact I had recently lost my most effective outlet to satiate my demon, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get involved with Jacob.
But for the first time in a long time, my demon was winning. When I watched Jacob do almost anything from the way he slid out of his seat to get out of my car to the almost dance-like motion with which he turned to face me, waiting for me to meet him after I closed my car door, inside, I was screaming to take him. I was afraid I wouldn’t be gentle, as one should be for the first time with a new partner who was more than a one-night stand. But maybe he didn’t want me to be gentle, maybe the way he ground against my touch in the elevator and whimpered as he grew hard told me he desired a rough touch. He wanted to be dominated, and to have the pleasure in submission.
I could give that to him.
