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Fuckingobscene.
That was the correct word for Fiona in that bikini.
It shouldn’t get to me like this. It’s a bathing suit—women wear them all the time. I’ve seen thousands of good-looking girls in tiny bikinis in my life, but I’ve never stared at them like I keep staring at Fiona.
I can’t tear my eyes away.
She’s a goddamn miracle. Long legs, toned stomach, breasts like heaven, ass like a symphony.
I want to shove her bathing suit bottoms aside, slide my fingers between her legs, and taste her moans on my tongue.
Instead, I sit on a chair next to Orin while Fiona chats with Molly, the two women lounging on towels in the sun.
“This is the life, my boy,” Orin says, grinning. His sons are in the ocean, boogie-boarding. “This is why we do what we do.”
“Can I ask you something?” I struggle to look at the old gangster instead of at my wife—myfakewife.
“Please do.” He tilts his head back, smiling, sunglasses over his eyes.
“Does this make the risk worth it?”
He lets out a soft grunt, lips curling into a smile. “No, not this.”
That surprises me. “If not this, then what?”
“I told you before. Family makes the risk worth it.” He tips his sunglasses down, looking at me over the rim. “When I bring home enough money to make my wife and my children comfortable, that makes the risk worth it. The beach, the beach house, they’re side effects of why I do what I do. Stability, safety. A future. That’s why I work so damn hard. Without the family, there’d be no point to all the struggle. But then again, without the work, there’d be nothing at all.” He sighs and puts his sunglasses back in place. “The circle of life.”
I stare at Fiona and digest what he said.
If he works for his family, what do I work for?
Why sacrifice so much? For myself? Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth the pain.
If I don’t love it, why put myself through it?
We sit in comfortable silence, enjoying the sea breeze, the mild sunshine. Fiona laughs at something Molly says and glances back at me. I stare at her, not afraid to let her know I’m looking. She tucks her hair back behind her ear. Smiles like she’s happy to see me.
Something in my chest aches. Something big, something hardened. Something I haven’t felt in a very long time.
Fiona looks away, but I want her with me. I want her by my side. I want her laugh, her taste. I want to kiss her one more time, and I don’t want to stop this time.
I want to keep going.
I’m tempted, too fucking tempted.
It’s not even just that bathing suit driving me crazy— though it doesn’t help.
It’s Fiona. It’s something abouther.
Nolan and Carson come over. I stand to shake their hands, introducing myself again. Carson’s the big one, a burly man, covered in tattoos. Nolan’s taller, green eyes, easy smile. If I didn’t know better, I’d think this was a group of healthy, rich East-Coasters enjoying a day at the beach. Not a family of seasoned thieves and killers.
“Come on, Gareth,” Carson says, slapping my back. “Take a turn on the board.”
“No, thanks,” I say, shaking my head. Last thing I need is for something to go wrong and embarrass myself in front of Orin. “I’ll pass for now, but maybe later.”
“Ah, what, afraid of the ocean?” Carson’s grin sparkles. He’s baiting me in front of his father on purpose, the bastard. “You seem like a brave man.”
“Must be, coming here,” Nolan says with a laugh. “He has to deal with Dad’s shit for two days.”
