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“Do you think this is easy for me? I still have feelings for you Lacey, but they aren’t the only important things.”
“No? What else is important? What the pack thinks of you?”
He grimaced and I could tell that he was angry at me. Maybe he was just angry at the world, but I was angry too and I was getting tired of it. All I wanted was to live a normal life, a life where I didn’t have to feel as though I had to be punished and shunned just for being what I was. I thought Ward saw past all that, but he was turning out to be just like the rest.
“Yes, as much as you hate it, yes it does matter. I want to be the Alpha one day. I want to prove myself to the others and have a position of influence. I know you’ve never cared about them, but it means something to me.”
“Really? You want to be a part of this? A part of the people who have treated me like shit?”
“I know things haven’t been perfect for you Lacey, but it doesn’t mean things are always going to be that way. Think about it; if I become Alpha one day, then I can make things better for you. I can make this pack better and you never have to feel like this again.”
“But you can’t become Alpha if you’re involved with me,” I said, finishing off his thought for him. He had a resigned look upon his face.
“No, I can’t. But with Charlotte I can. I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but this is the only way I can make an actual difference in the world. I know you and Charlotte don’t get on with each other, but she’s not a bad person. We have a lot of the same ideas for the pack in the future. Things will be better, I promise. You know I’d never let anything bad happen to you.”
He reached out to touch me, but I swiped his hand away. My eyes flashed with primal intensity and I almost howled at him.
“By the time things get better the best years of my life would be behind me. Do you really expect me to hang around here and wait for you to become Alpha? Am I supposed to watch you and Charlotte embark on a grand romance while I’m left here, alone?”
“I don’t want you to leave, Lacey. You mean so much to me. You’ve always been my best friend.”
Pain lanced through my heart at the word. Friend. Ha. He could convince himself of these lies if he wanted, but we had always been more than friends. The only thing Charlotte had over me was that she was a pure blood, and once I had made up my mind what I was going to do I wanted to make sure that Ward was never going to forget me.
In one sudden movement I pushed myself up against him and pressed him against the wall. The lithe curves of my body were angled against his muscles in such a way that made it feel as though we were meant to fit together, but he was willing to ignore nature’s work. I wrapped my arms around his strong body and felt everything in him tighten as our lips met. Our breath swirled together and I tasted him as I had tasted him so many times before. It ran hard and deep and my blood began to sing. A soft whimper left my throat and a rumbling growl left his. My heart danced, but at the same time it sank, for I knew this was the last time I would ever be kissing him.
I stepped back, tearing myself away. My chest heaved and I could see desire flicker in his eyes.
“Charlotte might be able to give you the pack, but there are some things only I can give you Ward. It’s just a shame you can’t see that. I’m leaving now. There’s nothing left for me here,” I said, turning away from the heated moment we had just shared.
Ward reached out to grab my wrist, pleading with me to stay, but I wrenched my hand away. I glared at him.
“You’ve made your choice. Nobody wants me to stay in this pack, and I’m not going to hang around and watch the two of you fall in love with each other. I’ve put up with a hell of a lot in my life, but I’m not going to put myself through that. If you have any ounce of respect for me then you’ll let me leave.”
I walked away, almost hoping for him to try and stop me. If he did then it might mean that all we had shared with each other hadn’t been a lie. I guess it was though. I guess there was truly nothing left for me there. Charlotte was welcome to him, and the pack were welcome to each other.
As I strode out into the cold, starry night I began to wonder if I shouldn’t have done this a long time ago. It was the promise of being with Ward that had kept me there, but now that was an impossibility, I had to find myself. I looked towards the moon and prayed for it to guide me to safety. Then I embraced my raw emotions and felt myself transform. Claws stretched out from my fingers and the air became sweet. The breeze drifted through my thick fur and I stretched my legs, running into the darkness, running into the unknown.
