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“Yeah?”
“Good luck on the book.”
“I finished it, actually, but I might need to make some tweaks to the ending.”
“Well, be sure to let me know when I can buy it.”
“I’ll try.”
“I’ll be the first in line.”
“Take care of yourself, Charlie.” His voice is soft and kind, just the way I want to remember him, reflecting the man I know.
I can’t manage another word. I know he can tell because he turns and walks away, leaving me there. My heart aches in my chest. Goodbye, Charlie.
Chapter 31
Charlie B
I’ve put six months into counseling and reading. I’ve avoided watching movies. I cook now and don’t bake. I had to because all of those things had too many memories attached to them.
I’m staring at my phone, a bad habit I’ve developed over the past six months. But it’s not my phone that I find so intriguing. It’s the photo on the display screen. The day it was taken was wonderful. I might even venture to say perfect. Charlie held my phone out in front of us as we went round and round on the carousel in Central Park. He stood beside me as I rode the pink horse with a lavender saddle. Leading up to that picture was an adventure in itself.
“Which one do you want?” He nudged me conspiratorially.
I watched the carousel make a full circle before making my final decision. “That one,” I said, pointing. “The pink horse with the purple saddle and the gold hooves.”
“That is so girly,” he joked.
“That’s the exact reason I want it. It appeals to my inner five-year-old.”
The carousel stopped, and the ticket taker opened the gate. Charlie jumped the small barrier despite the operator yelling at him for cutting in line.
He didn’t care, though. Charlie stood proudly next to the horse with his hand staking claim by holding the gold pole. He cut off two kids and a mom, but no real harm was done. They wanted the green and yellow ones on the other side anyway.
When I approached, he bowed, swaying his arm in presentation. “Milady, your horse awaits.”
I wanted to say something sarcastic or clever, but I couldn’t. My heart was in my throat. He was so sweet and sincere in wanting to get me the exact horse I wanted. As soon as he was upright, I hugged him, hard.
That was last summer, before the infamous dinner and before I was forced to confront my past in front of his family . . . and in front of him.
I’m brought out of my daydream when Rachel calls my name. “Charlie? Earth to Charlie. Hey, it’s quitting time. Go home.”
I spin around in my chair and look up at her, slightly dazed. “What?”
She taps her watch and smiles. “It’s five thirty. You’re done for the day unless you want to stay and help field the phone bids tonight.”
Since I got a promotion two months ago, we don’t get to see each other as much at work, but I don’t miss working the phones like I did before. Now I work them on an as-needed basis. I smile, laughing in jest. “No, thanks for the offer, but I have a book at home that I hope to finish tonight.”
“Sounds like a very provocative evening ahead,” she says, making fun of me.
“Are you mocking how I choose to spend my Thursday night?” She teases me a lot about the changes I’ve made. It’s not considered an exciting life for most twenty-six-year-olds, but that’s okay. I’ve had too much excitement in the past few years. I did what I needed to do for me, and it was nice in a way.
I’ve settled any outstanding notions regarding Jim, those lingering doubts I had. They weren’t real, just like the life I led with him. I wouldn’t have taken him back because his cheating on me changed who I was on the inside. The guilt was gone. I realized this when I slammed the door on him, closing the door on that part of my life also. I just never spent the time to take note of that.
I’m okay with the breakup now. Yeah, it hurts to think about it, but he wasn’t who I was meant to be with. No one I was meant to be with would hurt me that way. I see that now. My thoughts drift to Charlie. I miss him and think about him every day.
“Absolutely,” Rachel says, “I should have never given you that e-reader for your birthday. I don’t even remember the last time you went out with us.” She throws her hands in the air in a dramatic fashion before dropping them down again.
“Maybe because it’s always the two of you. You and Justin. It’s fine hanging out at your place, but sometimes it makes me feel like a third wheel or worse . . . lonely.”
