AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But, I held onto it with both my hands, even when I was the only one who believed it was worth protecting. The only one who saw it as mine to give.
I gently brush my palms off on my thighs, then begin limping the last few steps to my building.
I systematically avoided men when I ran away from home. They were terrifying. Stronger than me. Crueler than me.
It wasn’t my intention to hold on to my virginity forever. I just wanted to wait until I was ready. The years just sorta slipped away.
I don’t still go out of my way to avoid men. I no longer tremble, or sweat, when a man makes eye contact with me. I also don’t do anything to seek out their attention either. With how much I work, I don’t really give myself the opportunity to meet new people. The men I see come into the café are pretty much it for me. And as the poorly dressed, overworked, sleep-deprived woman who serves them their breakfast, I don’t really screamask me out.
Even beforeeverything, I can’t really say if any of the boys at school were interested in me or not. I kept my head down in class. Worked every day after school.
It’s nearly impossible to make close friends, let alone a boyfriend, if you can never invite anyone to your house. And Ineverinvited anyone to my house.
Arthur wasn’t predictable. And no matter how much I wanted to have a friend, I wasn’t willing to subject anyone else to his torment. His attention on me was bad enough; I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I was the reason he directed that torment on someone else.
But for all the times he terrorized me––hit me, choked me… Arthur never crossedthatline.
There were times I’d wonder––worry––if that was going to change. Like when I got a little older, and he started to look at me like hetrulyhated me, rather than the annoyed indifference he’d treated me with for years. Other times, his eyes would linger for too long on my chest, or on my hips. And I knew something bad would eventually happen. Knew it was inevitable. But I didn’t knowwhat.
I wasn’t supposed to be home that day, but my shift ended early, and I had nowhere else to go. Every day since, I’ve thanked a god I’m not sure I believe in, for the fact that I got home when I did. That I heard what I did.
Because if I hadn’t…
My feet stop at the front door of my building, and my hands are shaking so bad, it takes me three tries to unlock the latch.
Stepping out of the cold, and into the lobby, I stomp the slush off my shoes.
I want to go straight to my apartment and straight into the shower, but since I’m already in the lobby, I limp over to the wall of mailboxes.
Whatever might’ve happened way back then… didn’t. And it’s not going to. Because if they haven’t tracked me down by now, ten years later, then they aren’t going to.
And yet, still a virgin.
Using the small, tarnished gold key, I yank the little mailbox door open with more force than necessary. There are only a few items, but the one on the top catches my attention. It’s the same pale green paper that all the building notices come on.
My heart rate picks up as I pull the letter out, confirming it’s from the landlord.
My hands are dirty. I need to change. And shower. And eat something. But the bad feeling in my gut grows with every passing second I stare down at the folded-in-half piece of paper. Tucking the other letters into my purse, I rip through the little piece of tape holding the ends of the page together and flatten the note out.
Dear Renter…
My breath catches, each line sending me closer and closer to full panic mode.
…improvements that have been made to the building…
… starting January, 1st…
The words begin to blur in my vision.
…monthly increase of $250…
It can’t be.
They can’t do that.
Not by that much.
Dread settles across my shoulders like an old friend.
