Page 30 of Nero


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There you go, proof you don’t have control over anything in your life.

How am I going to save for a better life if I can barely pay for the shitty one I already have?

My next inhale is choppy. I have until January, a couple of months to figure it out.

And do what? You’ll never find another place around here for cheaper.

The paper in my hands trembles in the air.

You’ll never be able to afford that dog.

And with it, fat ugly tears start to roll down my cheeks.

CHAPTER15

Nero

I don’t likethe look on her face.

It’s full of defeat. Sadness.

“What’s wrong, Sweet Girl?” My words are loud in the empty room.

Payton has been sitting on her couch for the last hour––possibly longer, but that’s how long I’ve been observing––and she hasn’t moved. She’s just staring off into space with an utterly dejected look on her face.

I want to ask her what’s wrong. Ask who I need to bury for making her look that way.

But I can’t do that.

Because she can’t know that I’m here. Watching.

If King could see me now, huddled up in an unoccupied apartment across the street from Payton’s place, using binoculars to soak in every detail of her life, he’d laugh his fucking ass off.

But there’s just something about this woman that I can’t shake.

I know it’s insane. Certifiably psychotic. But considering I’ve probably killed more people than I’ve fucked, I’m not really concerned about the state of my mental health anymore.

She moves, and I focus my gaze to watch as she brushes the backs of her hands over her cheeks.

My fingers tighten around the binoculars. “Who made you cry?”

It’s her air of innocence. That’s what gets me. What draws me to her.

It doesn’t even make sense. Not after what King pulled up about her past. About all the ER visits. The stitches. The fractured bones. With everything she’s been through, she shouldn’t feel so… precious.

The plastic pops with a crack under my grip.

You need to leave her alone. Knowing you will only cause her more pain.

I’ve told myself this same thing, time and time again.

I can only offer her danger and heartache. There’s nothing safe about knowing me. No matter how much I wish it were different.

Slowly, I lower my hands. The magnified view of my obsession slipping away.

My eyes stay on her, but I’ve lost her features. Her sorrowful eyes now hidden by distance.

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