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I frown. “Pardon me?”
“You heard me,” he goes on. “I know she wanted you.”
“We joked about that all the time,” I remind him. “It was comical.”
“Was never comical to me, though,” he says. “The fact that I was second best. I’m always second best to you,Captain.”
I balk at him in surprise because that has never been the case between us. “Second best? What the devil are you talking about? Are you a bloody idiot? I suppose you are. You were the sacred child growing up. The oldest. Mum’s favorite. Pa’s too. It should have been you leading theNightwindfrom the start, not me.”
“Because I didn’t want the job,” he says. “You were always better at being a captain. You unite people.”
“And you get those people to listen to you. They respect you a hell of a lot more than they respect me.”
He shrugs. “All I’m saying is that Sam wanted you. She settled for me. And I’m afraid I was never truly able to give her what she wanted in the end.” He fixes me with an impassioned gaze. “I loved her, I did, I was never able to give her the love she needed, the love that she originally wanted from you.”
I swallow, wishing I had stopped by the tavern’s wench to get a drink myself. I wish I knew all the right things to say to him.
“You were a good pair,” I tell him. “You complimented each other. And regardless of how you think she felt, or how you felt, in the end it doesn’t really matter because of Lucas. Because you produced a son whom you love very much. A son who needs his father more than ever.”
He spins his glass around in his hands and gives me a thoughtful and surprisingly sober look. “Are you going to be a father?”
The question catches me off-guard.
“Again, I mean,” Thane adds.
“There is no again,” I tell him sharply. Then I loosen my shoulders. “Meaning, though Hilla is gone, I’ll never stop being her father. That doesn’t stop with death. She will always be my daughter.”
He nods and waits patiently for me to go on.
I sigh. “But I know what you’re meaning—with Maren.”
“Aye.”
“To be honest with you, Maren and I haven’t really discussed it. I have thought about it, of course, of what that could possibly be like. Half-Syren, half-Brethren? The child would be an outright monster, but our monster of course.”
Thane manages a slight smile. “Aren’t all children monsters at some point?”
I laugh. “That be true, they can be. But you know, I don’t think it’s vital to our relationship. I believe Maren has great mothering instincts but being a mother isn’t at the forefront of her mind. Perhaps in time.”
“Perhaps in time.”
“Though I will say, from the amount of seed I’m spilling in her on the daily, I’m rather shocked she hasn’t fallen pregnant yet.”
Thane lets out a groan and gets to his feet, leaning against the table for balance, a look of disgust on his face. “Alright, I think it’s time for bed. I don’t want to hear another word about yourseed.”
I laugh and watch as he staggers away. “You sure? I have countless salacious stories I can regale you with!”
He gives me a dismissive wave of his hand and disappears around the corner.
I watch him go, heading up the stairs and into the inn, not into the tavern, and I relax, happy that perhaps I talked some sense into him. Then I turn in my seat and lean back, breathing in the heady scent of frangipani in the air, watching the moon on the water, the silhouette of theNightwindresting at the foot of the waves. I know she’s eager to return to the sea and continue on, just as I am.
I sit there for some time, wishing I had a cigar, when I hear heels on cobblestone behind me.
“May I join you, Captain?”
I turn and smile at Maren who walks to my table. Her ebony hair is piled high on her head, more out of need to deal with the stifling heat and humidity here rather than what’s fashionable, and her dress is far more elaborate than the one she wears on the ship. It’s rich teal color and silk purple threading at the bust and stomach remind me of her Syren tail and that’s probably why she picked it.
My heart beats faster than hummingbird wings, a sensation that happens whenever she’s around, and I pull out the chair for her and gesture for her to sit down.
