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“Teagan,” he says, and I’m shocked by the worry in his voice. “I almost lost you...” he whispers again, his fingers trembling on my cheek. “That can’t happen again.”
Coldness seeps into my veins once again. “You don’t want to lose your plaything,” I say, my words just as numb as my body.
He shakes his head. “No,” he says, and there’s a bite to his tone. “You’re not my plaything. You never have been. You’re my wife. The woman I should have cherished. Instead, I pushed you away and kept you at arm’s length because I was scared you’d betray me.”
He leans over me, and I flinch when I see the intensity in his eyes and the anger swirling in them. “I’m not going to lose you,” he whispers, his eyes burning with possessiveness. “You’re mine. You always have been.”
I stare into his eyes, and my breath catches in my throat. “I’m tired,” I whisper. “I can’t fight anymore.”
His thumb swipes along my lips. “You’re not fighting alone,” he promises me. “I’m right here,mia amata, and I’m not going anywhere.”
My chest heaves and I can feel a pressure building inside of it, threatening to break free. Tears stream down my face, but I resist the urge to give in to the anguish that overtakes me. I grip the bedsheets, willing the emotion to stay tightly locked away as I struggle to keep my composure.
“I’m right here,mia amata. You’re safe.”
His words are my breaking point. I can’t hold it in any longer. “I hate you,” I say, my voice breaking as the sobs I tried so hard to stop force their way out of me. As much as I hate him, I can’t stop loving him. “I hate you,” I cry.
I feel the bed dip beside me. His arms wrap around me, and he pulls me into his chest, rocking me as I unleash all my pain through the tears.
I sob for everything I’ve felt over the years but buried deep inside of me, scared to let it all out. The loss of a family who never wanted me. The pain and heartache I’ve felt over the years, and so much guilt that eats away at me every day for the loss of Nell.
I sob for the pain of trying to move on and find my way, only to be knocked back down. The pain of knowing that all my hopes and dreams as a child never came true, that nothing I did was ever good enough.
I weep for the loss of my innocence and freedom, things I’ll never be able to get back.
Everything pours out of me, releasing into Elio’s arms.
“You’re safe,” he whispers softly, his hand running over my hair, soothing me as I weep in his arms.
He holds me tight and whispers words of comfort to me as I cry. His voice is tinged with so much pain and regret, the emotion in it wraps around me. I try to push him away, but he doesn’t budge. He holds me tight, offering me support as he cradles me in his arms. He promises me that he’ll never hurt me again.
I don’t believe him. There have only ever been two people who have ever truly cared for me, and he’s not one of them. I’m terrified of letting him in because if I do, I’ll be shattered into a million pieces. I don’t want him to break me again. I don’t want to lose myself anymore.
But I don’t want to be broken anymore. I’m so tired of fighting. I just don’t have it in me. I don’t have the strength needed.
I gasp for breath, my chest heaving as I try and suck in some much-needed oxygen.
Elio continues to rock me, not once letting me go.
His actions are confusing me. Why is he being so sweet and caring? I don’t know how to react to this side of him. It’s not what I’ve come to expect from him. I meant what I said. I hate him. He gave me glimpses of hope, something for me to cling on to. But he just kept whipping them away, taking pleasure in showing me nothing but the anger and hatred he holds inside.
“Mia amata,” Elio says as he presses a kiss against my head once the tears have dried up. I’m still in his arms, and he’s not letting me go. “Can you look at me?”
I raise my head and look into his dark brown eyes. They still hold so much worry. “Yes?” I say, my voice hoarse and trembling.
“I need you to know that I’m so fucking sorry for everything I have said and done to you. I’m a fucking bastard for how I treated you.”
I nod. His words mean nothing to me. Sure, he’s apologizing, but an apology only holds so much weight. Actions speak louder than words.
“Jade knew nothing of what I had planned. In fact, she’s beyond pissed that I married you. She’s not happy with me or my brothers.”
I blink. “Why are you telling me this?”
His hand smooths down my hair. “You need people around you who you can trust. Jade told me that she wanted to help you, that she wanted to keep you safe, and she still does. I think if she had the chance, she’d kill me for what’s happened. She truly does want the best for you.”
I don’t say anything. I’m not someone who trusts easily. I’ve been burned way too many times. I can’t and won’t bring myself to lower the walls I have kept firmly in place. The last time I did, I let Elio in, and that didn’t work out for me too well.
“Portia, Jade, and I are going to be with you.”
