AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I turn in his arms and look up at him. The despair shining in his dark brown eyes has my heart clenching. “I’m sorry you had to find me,” I whisper, shame hitting me hard.
He frames my face with his hands. “Don’t,” he says sharply. “Don’t think like that,mia amata. You have no idea how fucking relieved I am that I found you in time.” He pulls me into his arms. “You’ll never know how much I fucking love you,mia amata.”
His words make my heart skip a beat, but I can’t help but feel as though it’s a little convenient—that he’s now in love with me when his toy almost slipped through his fingers.
“I know you don’t believe me and that’s okay. I’ll work at proving to you just how fucking much you mean to me.”
Seeing is believing. There’s so much pain in my heart and soul that I’m not sure if I can ever truly move past everything that’s happened.
“Come,” he says as he leads me out of the bathroom. “Use the main one.”
If he had loved me before everything happened, I would have been the happiest woman in the world, but it doesn’t seem real right now. I don’t even love myself, so how can anyone love me?
TWENTY-THREE
ELIO
Ifeel Teagan move in the bed and wake instantly. She’s been restless this evening. It’s been almost a week since I found her in the bathtub, and I can’t stop the images of her lifeless body forming in my mind. Whenever she’s asleep, I listen to her breathing. I watch her chest rising and falling. I need to know she’s alive and that she’s here.
“Mia amata,” I say gently. “What’s wrong?”
She turns to face me. She’s as far away from me as she can be in the bed without falling out, and I fucking hate it, but I understand that she needs to put distance between us.
“My mind won’t shut off,” she says. “My memories are flooding my brain and I can’t shut it off.”
Shit. Speaking with Lana brings up all the traumatizing events that have happened to her. “Tell me about your mom,” I say, hoping to pull her thoughts from the shit that she went through.
“I don’t remember her,” she tells me. “I wasn’t even three when she died and I had to go live with my father. As the years passed, I forgot everything about her.” The sadness in her voice tugs at my heart. “There were no pictures of her. There was nothing but the teddy bear.”
Fuck. The damn bear is at our house in Indianapolis. We’re still in Chicago. Right now, we’re focusing on getting her better. I know it’s going to be a tough road ahead, and that there’s no magic cure, but with the doctor she’s speaking with, we’re hopeful that she can pull through the darkness.
“I used to wish she wasn’t really dead, that she was just hurt somewhere and that when she was better, she’d save me, but it was just a dream, something I had hoped. I learned that no one but myself can save me.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. It’s something I don’t make a habit of saying to anyone, but with Teagan, I need her to know just how truly fucking sorry I am. “I pushed you away, not realizing just how much that hurt. Had I known what I was doing to you. I wouldn’t have done it.”
She turns onto her back. Even in the darkness, I can feel the weight of her confusion. She’s unsure of my motives. She doesn’t know why I’m being nice to her, and that fucking guts me. She shouldn’t be wondering that. It should be a given that I’d be pleasant, caring, and attentive to my wife.
“The first time I remember my dad hitting me, I was five. I had spilled water onto the table and interrupted his morning blowjob from one of the women from the club. I didn’t know what she was doing, but I knew it made me uncomfortable, but I wasn’t allowed to leave until I had finished my breakfast.” She pauses for a moment, and I let her be, giving her the time to tell me. “He backhanded me and split my lip open. I can’t remember if he did it before that, but that’s the first one I remember.”
My gut rolls with acid. Christ... Bear Mitchell is a fucking bastard. Who the fuck does that to their daughter?
“I’m glad he’s dead,mia amata,” I say gruffly, a heaviness on my chest.
“So am I,” she confesses. “That makes me a bad person, doesn’t it? I shouldn’t want anyone dead, especially my own father, but I do. I’m so damn glad he’s dead, and I hope that he suffered terribly.”
I reach out for her. The moment my hand touches hers, she clasps it and holds tight. “No, baby, it doesn’t. It makes you human.”
I also realize that with the Gallagher’s killing those fucking bastards, it stopped the abuse she was suffering. It stopped the pain she had to endure. If anyone needed revenge, it was Teagan.
“I miss the sunrise,” she says quietly, but I hear her. “I haven’t seen it in a while. It’s one of the most beautiful sights in the world.”
I release her hand and climb out of bed. “Let’s go,” I say, as I reach for my sweatpants. “I know the perfect place.”
I overheard her speaking to Portia yesterday. Teagan told her how much she missed being able to watch the sunrise over the city. I didn’t have to think twice about what I wanted to do. I made a few calls, and within the hour, I had rented out an apartment in one of the tallest complexes in Chicago.
“Where are we going?” she asks, her voice wispy and soft.
I hit the light on and see her sitting up in bed, her eyes wide as she watches me. “It’s a surprise, but you’re going to love it.”
