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“We can do a test while we’re here,” Nils suggests. “Why not? We only ever knew Sabine’s biological mother’s name. The father was unnamed.”
While Nils goes to find a nurse, I tell Max, “I need some fresh air.”
“I’ll come with you.”
“Stay. I’ll get your mum, and then you can all be together.”
“I want you here, too.”
I shake my head. “I’ll let Jeremy know where I am.”
“Take him with you.Please.”
The undeniable anxiety in Max’s voice is hard to ignore. “I will,” I assure him.
A few minutes later, as Barbara rejoins her family in Sabine’s hospital room, I head towards the main doors for a blast of December air. I’ve no idea of the time but it must be after midnight. The sky is pitch black, fat clouds chugging past a full moon as a bitter wind blows through. All the same, I keep my sunglasses on.
A few people come and go through the main doors, conversations overheard in a language or dialect I can’t hope to understand. Jeremy sits on a nearby bench, acting like my bodyguard, and looking like my bodyguard with his massive biceps and broad chest. We’ve not spoken much, but there’s much to be said.
“Thanks for outbidding that Arab,” I say wryly.
He smiles at that, his eyes flicking over me quickly. “I wouldn’t be standing here today if I’d failed.”
It’s said with humour, but we both know he’s serious. “I believe you.”
“Good, because it’s true. Max told me I could bankrupt him as long as I got you.”
I take a seat next to him, the cold steel bench biting into my backside. “Finding Sabine was important.” Frowning, Jeremy opens his mouth to say something but I ask, “Why didn’t he make the sale himself?” It’s a question I should ask Max, but he’s doing more important things right now, and besides, my curiosity can’t wait.
“He was worried you’d recognise him and give something away, or already had after he’d left you behind. Luca could never know you were waiting for Max, or happy for him to buy you. It would imply you were safe, and that his secrets were no longer secret.”
It makes sense in a world where many things don’t. “I can’t believe I spent weeks with Max but failed to recognise him, Ben too. And then as soon as I saw you, as soon as you spoke, it all came flooding back.”
He nods. “I’m sure your counsellor will be able to tell you why.”
“I have some theories.” Theories like not wanting to remind myself of the horror when I was abandoned on the road, of reliving that moment on a loop. And then there’s the hang-up I still carry from Mum leaving me . . .
Or maybe, I didn’t want to ruin a good thing. Maybe, deep down I knew it was him. That’s why I was able to relax in his company, this man who had saved me, who kept his promises. It’s no wonder Jonas didn’t last—my head wanted someone else.
“I bet you do. I bet you’ve had enough of therapy too.”
“Yeah,” I agree with a laugh. “But seriously, thank you. For being there for me, and for being there for Max. I know you’ve been working non-stop to find Sabine while Max was in London. With me.” While he was busy fooling me.
He smiles uncertainly. “You’re welcome, but look, it’s not my place to say, but you should know that getting you safe and secure was just as important to him as finding Sabine.”
I look away, finding it hard to agree.
“It’s the truth,” he stresses. “So, er, this voice you heard, maybe it was directing you to water?”
I consider that for a moment. At the lake it seemed to be telling me something, and here I am, in the port city of Antwerp where Sabine was found in a beautiful old house that backed onto the River Scheldt. And then there was Luca, his house alongside a dyke. “Who knows,” I say, unable to say with any certainty. “I met Max by a river. Maybe it was pointing me to him.”
“Jeremy?”
We both glance up at the voice, then Jeremy stands. “Ellis! Good to see you.”
“I can’t believe she’s been found. I just . . . Fuck.” His eyes find mine. “You must be Ava.”
“Yes.”
