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A soft, sad giggle. “No. You gave Kate my number, remember? She’s been really sweet to me, after everything. I know you needed to talk to your friends about us, about me coming here, and I’m glad you have them. Besides, I was happy to stay in touch with her. With Millie too. And I want to know if Kate’s having a boy or a girl.”
“They don’t know.”
“Yeah, she told me. She also sent me pictures of their house in the Cotswolds. No stalking necessary.”
I chuckle, remembering that we never did go to Mal and Millie’s house for New Year’s Eve. Well, I went—to drown my fucking sorrows. It was a pretty miserable night in that respect, but it was good to hang out with that crowd again after a long, necessary absence.
“How’s work going?” Working part-time for a pharmaceutical giant, Tilly has the lab position she hoped for.
“Um, it’s going okay. I’m still finding it hard to concentrate, but I’m much better than I was after I was found,” she tags on quietly.
“Are you sure this isn’t too much, too soon, Ava?” I ask gently. Some days, she sounds like she’s drowning under the weight of expectation, piling pressure on her already burdened shoulders. “You don’t need to keep proving how strong you are, baby.”
Instantly, her face twists, a sob escaping before she covers her mouth with a hand. Unable to do anything but watch her dissolve into tears before my eyes, I reach for my phone and text Tilly.
Ava needs you.
Feeling useless, I murmur soft encouragements, wishing I was there. Wishing she’d never asked for this separation because all it’s doing is breaking her apart even more.
She needs me. I’m the antidote to all the fucking evil that swims in her head. And while Ben was quick to tell her that it was his stupid idea toset her free, to ensure she returned to her family and not the obsessed man who willingly bought her, ready to drown her in his fast love, she still stood her ground.
“Are you ready to call this off yet?” I ask when her tears subside.
She wipes at her nose, a flicker of interest there and gone again.Such a martyr.“Five weeks will fly by.”
“Still trying to work out if you love me or not?”
“No,” she mumbles. “That’s obvious.”
“Found someone else to ease your pain? Someone better than me?”
Again, her face twists with grief. I don’t like pushing her but she’s being fucking stubborn.
“No.”
“Still think you love me because I saved you?”
“Max, don’t.”
“Don’t what? Fight for you? Tell you this is insane? You have nightmares and your panic attacks are more frequent. I kept those at bay.”
“Who—?Tilly,” she gripes, looking off to a far wall. “I didn’t want you worried,” she tells me quietly.
“More like you didn’t want me to tell you this was always a bad fucking idea, and this proves it.” Looking reprimanded, Ava meets my stern gaze. “I’m getting on the first plane I can,” I inform her plainly. For weeks, I’ve been packed and ready for this moment. “I’m done with this, Ava.” Her eyes glue to mine. She’s visibly trembling, like she can’t wait to pounce on my offer but is desperately holding herself back. “Say it. Say you’re done with this, too.”
“I . . . Er, we . . . ”
“Ava, you’re not sleeping,” I state, waiting for her to agree. “Are you?” Reluctantly, she shakes her nod. “When are you going to stop running, running girl?”
Her face scrunches. Silent tears run from her eyes. “I wish with all my heart I’d met you whilst out running. I wish with everything I am that I didn’t carry this darkness.”
“Don’t say that. That’s not true.”
“It is. I’m never going to outrun this. I’ll carry it with me forever.”
My heart self-destructs at her pain. I want to wrap her up in my arms, reinforcing all the ways she’s wrong. “Then let me be your torch.”
Overcome, she fights her tears. “Yes,” she says brokenly. “Please. I miss you so much."
