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“I don’t know,” I offer, getting to my feet.
Laurence asks, “Tea, anyone?”
“Please,” I say, taking a spot opposite Ben. The small amount of hope I saw in his eyes as we journeyed here this afternoon has entirely disappeared. At dinner, I thought he was a better version of himself, but Tabi has managed to upend all of that. I can’t remember the last time I saw him smile, a proper cheeks-aching smile. And as for him getting any sleep—that’s a negative.
“I can’t hear any shouting from next door,” Sam leads. “Maybe Ava is the forgiving type.”
Ben’s eyes lift to mine, his response making my stomach tighten. “Here’s hoping.”
“Tabi was off her face. There’s no point giving her shit,” Laurence points out. “She won’t remember much.”
“Is that your lawyer’s defence?” I ask.
“I hate drunks,” he answers, digging out mugs and locating the sugar bowl. “She was thoughtless, but not out of spite.”
The other lawyer in the room, Sam, says, “You’d be surprised by how much someone can get away with by pleading insanity, lack of memory or for just being a stupid fuck.”
He sounds jaded, and maybe that’s a by-product of his profession but I have to hope to God that justice is served to those that truly deserve it. It’s the only thought that keeps me going.
Right then, Logan rests his chin on my leg, and I take his much-needed affection and stroke his head, giving him a scratch behind the ears.
Laurence hands me a mug of tea as Sam flicks on the TV, immediately switching to a sports channel. I’m prepared to watch the dullest of sports right now, like darts or snooker, anything to take my mind off tonight’s sour ending.
“Thanks,” I say absent-mindedly to Laurence before glancing back at Ben. “What did you think of Ava?”
I’ve shared my recent encounters with her by the river with him. About how I’ve been building up to say hello. To actually speak to her. To move this on . . .
“Physically, she’s exactly as you described her. I can understand the obsession.”
Laurence chuckles, but not unkindly. “The man’s got it bad,” he teases. “Give him a break. We’ve all fallen hard for someone at some stage.”
“Max is notorious for this,” Ben replies. “Sometimes, the ending isn’t pretty.”
“Twice, the ending wasn’t pretty,” I remind him.
It’s not my fault some women don’t understand fast love. That they aren’t consumed by their feelings. I can’t help my emotions, wants or desires. If someone is important to me I make sure they know it. But there’s a reason things ended badly with Kylie and Erin and it’s because I was meant for Ava, and she was meant for me.
I know that now.
“Well,” Sam begins, “I liked her. She’s got a lot to overcome, especially if she can’t remember anything. Is that what Tabi said?”
“It was hard to understand her drunken babbling,” I reply. “Sounded like it.”
After bumping in to her outside when we arrived, my interest in Ava has already been acutely discussed. And my behaviour during dinner, directing all of my attention on her alone made it clear what I hope will develop. So knowing I’m keen on her and unfazed by the night’s revelations, knowing I’m more than happy to see this through and help her, Sam offers me a tight smile. “With you at her side, I’m sure she’ll succeed.”
I fucking hope so.
Inhaling sharply, Ben pushes up from the sofa, saying, “I’m going to hit the sack. I’m assuming there’s no news from Jeremy?”
“No,” I answer, aware that my right hand man hasn’t sent through an update tonight. “Soon.”
Ben’s wife, my sister, has gone missing. For months, Jeremy, Ben and I have been looking for her to no avail. We’re both destroyed by the endless wait. Both frustrated by the lack of news. For the next few days, Jeremy is on his own, doing what he can to find her. Soon, Ben will join him again, as will I.
But selfishly, I’m hoping whatever I’m feeling for Ava will get reciprocated. She’s a great distraction to all the crap going on in my work and personal life. I want to get to know her. I want to understand what happened to her, seeing if, or how, I can help. But more than that I want to see what could grow between us.
I like everything about her, especially her vulnerability that the protective side of me wants to nurture. But I liked the way she challenged me. I like a woman who gives as good as she gets. Who can hold me to account if I go too far.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. There’s still lots to understand about her. About her past. I just have to hope she’s able to share it with me.
