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Max shook his head. “Not now. Let her recover.”
“Do you know anything about Sabine,” Ben rushed out, “and who she was sold to?”
I didn’t care about Sabine in that moment. I only cared about Max. “Max, don’t do this. Ineedyou!”
Reaching for him, he intercepted my wrists and held them down on my thighs, the cuts smarting. I stared at him, wondering how this could’ve gone so wrong. Every interaction was unexpected, the exact opposite of how I’d imagined it.
Slowly, his face shut down, his eyes growing stern. The more he physically pushed me away, hurt me, the more I withdrew inside my head. It was how I had learned to protect myself after my mother had abandoned me. And while I knew my mother was never coming back, Max had made me promises.
So I retreated, deep. I burrowed a warren of depthless tunnels and loops and caves, living amongst the impenetrable darkness as Max’s rejection drove me away. As I built a wall to protect myself.
“Please,” I begged one last time. “Please.”
The car slowed.
“Forget about me. I was not at the farm. I did not buy you. Tell the police everything you’ve learned about Luca and the man he works for. We need to find my sister,” he urged.
Max continued to give me instructions. Details about the restaurant and hotel complex further along the road. That I was to say my buyer set me free, and that I took that opportunity with both hands.
And then he pushed me out of the car.
Pushed me.
I fell to the ground in a heap, picking myself up and immediately trying to get back in. The thud of the central locking system was like a death knell.
I whaled on the door, crying, begging as the car did a U-turn and disappeared the way we came.
I’m not sure how long I stood there. In the police report, I’m described as being catatonic. Apparently, someone had tried to speak to me, concerned about my appearance, but I don’t remember them.
All I know is that bit by bit I came to, desperately trying to register where I was. Disorientated, I realised it was almost dark, the air cool against my skin as the sky soaked away into a muted wash of orange and black-blue. For a while, I stood there looking at the horizon, trying to piece together the last segment of time in a state of disbelief.
Did that happen? Was it a dream?
Something made me look down the road, searching for an ominous black car.
Forget about me.
Some instinct took over and I stumbled away, my brain directing my stiff, cold limbs down the road.
From somewhere, I sensed a departure of grand proportions. Of a strength that I had once luxuriated in. But that golden image in my head turned distorted, fragmenting and dissipating like ash on the wind.
Forget about me.
I’m not sure why those words rang out to me, but they did.
And so I forgot.
I forgot about everything.
There areheadache tablets in the cupboard. With the last of my water, I chug a couple down, rubbing at my temples as the lightning storm inside my head settles.
I’ve had a lot of time to think. To relook at Max’s behaviour. He lied to me about many things, but it’s the lie about Ben and Sabine’s marriage that I’m angry about. Why not just tell me? Why imply that Ben wanted to save me and act the hero? It’s hard to understand his motives, other than assuming if I wasn’t into Max, Ben might’ve tried to seduce the memories from me.
Jesus.
Was that all I was to Max? Was I worth nothing more than my memories?
Those thoughts hollow me.
