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She stared at me and then said, “Sorry. You’re right. But we do need to talk about it. It’s not going away. And brushing something like this aside will only cause bigger problems later.” Her eyes filled with sadness. “I just wish you felt as though you could’ve come to me for advice.”
“I know. And Mom, I do come to you when I need help. It’s just that I'm not a little girl anymore, Mom. I want to handle my own relationship. Keep some things...private.”
“And you think that I should have ignored what I found on the laptop?” she asked.
“No, Mom. That’s not what I mean. It’s just that you need to trust me. I know what I’m doing. Damien is not a bad guy. And... he’s not cheating on me.”Because we’re not dating.
“How do you know? He’s not here. He could be with anyone right now on that beach,” she said.
Once again, all true. But it still had nothing to do with me. But I didn’t want to think about Damien on the beach with another woman.Thankfully, I know he’s not. Well, I don’t think so.
He doesn’t like the beach, and is a workaholic just like me.
“Mom, if he was going on vacation with another woman, why would he have invited us to join him?” I asked. She didn’t have a response. “Exactly. He wouldn’t. And he’s not there alone. His brother is there with him.”
“And that eases your mind? Why?” she asked.
“Because it’s part vacation and the rest of it, work.”
“I hope you’re right. But you need to go with your gut. If you think something is off, that something is wrong, then put an end to it immediately. Second chances only put you in the position to be the victim twice,” she said.
Her eyes looked so sad. Was she talking about me or recalling a time in her life that she’d been the victim. I wanted to ask, but I already knew she’d never tell me.Secrets. You’re full of them, Mom. It was ironic, because she didn’t want me to have any. If she only knew that I was taking after her now.
“I’m a lot stronger than you give me credit for. I’m your daughter. I don’t take anyone’s shit.”
Mom smiled for the first time. “Good. Because you only deserve the best. But I’d be lying if I said I still didn’t have my doubts about him.”
“I know. It’s natural to worry about your children, even when they are no longer children,” I reminded her.
“You will always be my child. Age doesn’t change that.”
“You mean I can look forward to going through this when I’m fifty?” I asked. She nodded. “Great. I guess I won’t ever get married.”
“Why is that?” she asked.
“Because I have a feeling no man will ever live up to your standards.”My father and his family didn’t.
“I don’t know. I’m sure there is a man out there. You just haven’t met him yet.”
Or maybe I have, and he’s just off limits or maybe not interested.
Last night I never thought I would get to sleep but eventually I did. And was awakened by the best sound. My phone chimed when he sent me a text. I could’ve ignored it until morning, but it was what I had been waiting for all day but nothing like I expected. He didn’t want to text. He called me and not once did we talk business. He asked about me and my day. Was he thinking about me?And now I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s not professional either.
I knew him wanting to see me again had nothing to do with coffee, but I was hoping it had nothing to do with my family either. It had sounded so...personal. Was it possible he felt the same attraction that I did? Was that kiss a few days ago still haunting his dreams like it was mine?
Not that another night of no sleep was going to be good,but I really hope he calls again tonight. After this conversation with my mother, I needed to hear his voice.God. I’m thinking like we’re dating. What’s wrong with me?
“MaKayla, are you even listening to me?” mom said.
No. I’m enjoying my sweet daydream and don’t want it to end.
“Yes, I was.” I got up and said, “But I really need to get back to work. I told Jenny that she could leave early tonight because she has exams to study for.”
Mom nodded, “And I have paperwork that I should be working on too. Maybe I should’ve waited for another time to bring that up.”
“No. I’m glad you did. Now we can both just forget about it,” I stated. Not that either of us were going to. If Damien and I ever did date for real, mom would hold this against him. Even when she shouldn’t.
When I left the office, I closed the door behind me. Only then did I notice my hands were trembling. That was too close. If mom hadn’t blurted out what she thought had been the issue, I might have confessed what I was really doing. But I must be more careful. Mom had been searching for something to come across this. But what was that? Did it have to do with me? With Damien?
