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CHAPTER1
Lenia Pravost (Venus Prada)
“Mom, I can tell something is troubling you,” MaKayla said. I could see her eyes filled with worry as she reached across the kitchen table and covered my hand with hers.
“MaKayla everything is fine. It's just been a long day that's all,” I lied. It was a lot more than that, but my daughter was getting married in just a couple of days. This was supposed to be a joyous time for her and for me. It was everything I'd wanted for my daughter, love, happiness, and a family. What was clouding my mood was the feeling that I didn't know whereIfit into it all. I had been her mother and protector for the last twenty-five years. That role had changed, she didn't need me anymore. Not at least like she used to.But I need her more than I ever did.
She shook her head. “I thought the lies between us were over. You know you can tell me anything. Is this about me marrying Damien?”
I should’ve known better. Not only was she marrying a man whose whole career was about reading others and searching for the truth, but my daughter seemed to be pretty damn good at it herself. I don't know how I ever got away with lying to her for 25 years before she found out the truth about her father. “I'm sorry. You are right. It’s got nothing to do with fatigue.”
“Is this about what Grandmother said last night?” I couldn’t recall anything that stood out because there had been so much talking that it had all blended together. When I didn’t reply, MaKayla added, “You know, about me not having a father to give me away.”
“Oh, yeah. That. I’m sorry. She didn’t mean to cause you any pain,” I explained. “But it was out of my control. You know that don’t you?”
MaKayla nodded. “Mom, everything you told me about my father had been a shock. But Uncle Steven told me everything my father had been through, or at least everything he was willing to tell me. My father might not be here to give me away, but I know he’s watching over me just like he was when he ensured you had enough money to hide me from his father.”
I wanted to hug her and tell her how proud he would be of her, but I had no right to talk about him. I hardly knew the man myself. It was for Steven to do that now. Michael was his older brother. He knew Michael better than I ever did.
“I’m glad you have your uncle to help you through all of this.”
“And I have you too. But if it isn’t the absence of my father that has you worried, then what is it? If it is about Damien and me, you can tell me.”
“Oh, goodness, no. I don't want you to think this has anything to do with you and Damien. You are meant to be together. He's a good man. I'm happy you are marrying him. I know he loves you and will always protect you.”
“But?”
I wished she would just drop it. This was not the time to have this discussion. She had a wedding to focus on. I was not going to take her attention away by talking about something as silly as a dream that has been haunting me repeatedly for the past several weeks. “We can talk about it another time. You and I are supposed to be reviewing the list to make sure everything is in order for the wedding. Now, where is that paper? I thought you were going to bring it with you.”
“If I look at the list one more time, I'm going to be so stressed out that I won't be able to sleep. Grandmother and grandfather have been helping so much with the plans. And so has Uncle Steven and Aunt Aiza. With everyone helping, how could anything be missed?” She arched a brow and pursed her lips then continued, “I guess you have no excuse to not talk to me now.”
“I would ask when you became so pushy, but I think you were pushy even at birth.”
“Uncle Steven said I get that from my father,” she said. “He never took no for an answer either.” She just sat across the table looking at me, not even trying to hide her smirk.
I wish I could tell her more about her father, Michael. What I know isn’t stuff I wanted to tell her. Granted he insisted I listen to him and run/hide. But the only reason I had to was because he couldn’t tell his father no. He lived in fear from the man until the day Michael died. At least Michael loved his daughter enough to ensure her happiness and safety. That’s the man I was MaKayla to remember he father as. Anything else she learns about him will continue to come from his brother, Steven.
It wasn't just that I didn't want to talk to her about it, I wasn't sure what to say. How do I tell my daughter that I am dreaming about a man I have not seen in 25 years? A man that was not Michael.
“Don’t forget, you’re half me too,” I reminded her. “I am just as stubborn.”
“Great. That makes me impossible to deny,” she smiled.
“You're not going to be happy until I tell you, are you?” I already knew what her answer was going to be. I used this same tactic on her when she was growing up and was trying to hide something from her.
“Nope.”
Letting out a heavy sigh, I admitted, “I haven’t been sleeping well lately because....so much has changed. I guess it is starting to affect my dreams.”
“I could tell yesterday. You looked tired. Can you be more specific about exactly what is bothering you? You said it is not me and Damien. So, is it because you are back here in Tabiq? Is it bringing back all the...difficult times that you experienced here?” she asked.
That might be part of it, but there was so much more to it. “It has been challenging, but wonderful being back here.”
“The memories?”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t feel like the home I remember. So much has changed. It’s a good thing, but I’m still having a difficult time adjusting to the new Tabiq. So different from what I remember.” Tabiq had once been a culture that was very family-focused, but it was before I had been born. Over the years, our government became corrupt, and our leaders ruled by instilling fear. They used cruelty until all joy and hope had been ripped out of the people of Tabiq. I never thought that any of that would change. I didn’t even know how it happened, but it had. Not only were Tabiqians now moving forward, but they were thriving. It all seemed too good to be true. I wanted to believe what I was being told, what my eyes were showing me, but then the guilt set in. I hid away in Canada denying who I was and left them all here to fight for their rights on their own.And somehow, they won.
“I don’t know what it was like, and no one will speak of it, but I do hear it is nothing like it was when you grew up here,” MaKayla said.
