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Between Gianni and Casey, I’m surrounded by silent conversations, so many things going unsaid, and so many elephants that it is hard to move. And when I think things can’t get any more uncomfortable, the guy in the blue jacket arrives.
The queue is long, and I am taking orders while checking out the customers, making sure none of them look like Carl. The last customer in the queue catches my eye. He’s young, younger than me, I think. He has blond hair styled with such precision that it seems fake. His skin is blemish-free, his eyes crystal blue to match his jacket, and I think he spends a lot of time in the bathroom. He’s good-looking but not my type. I can imagine women fall over themselves when he enters a room. But he knows it.
I take his order while studying his face, searching for traces of Carl. But he doesn’t know this. He takes my scrutiny the wrong way. I place his coffee on the counter, thank him for his custom, and watch him turn to leave. But he doesn’t walk out the door. Instead, he turns back around and places his coffee on the side of the counter where the extra milk and sugar are. He fumbles around in his pocket. I stare. What is he up to? Is he about to challenge me? Did I get his drink right? He paid on his card, so I can’t have short-changed him.
“I’m sorry, I hope you don’t mind…” he begins, “… but I can’t walk out of this shop without telling you how beautiful you are.” I don’t breathe. I glare at this stranger, not believing what I’m hearing. “I don’t normally do this.” He laughs as if he is shy, although he’s anything but. “I’ve never done anything like this, but for some reason, I have to tell you.” He hands me a card. I take it because I don’t know what else to do. “Here’s my number.” He grins. “I’d love you to call me.” He flashes me one more smile, his white teeth setting off the blue of his eyes as he turns and walks out of the shop.
I quickly scan the card. It is slim and white, mass-produced by some little machine. His name is on the front—Nathaniel Jenkins.He’s an real estate agent. His number is in the bottom right-hand corner.
Ruby is next to me, nudging me and laughing.
“Well, in all my time in this job, I’ve never been chatted up behind the counter.” She beams. “You should call him. He was very handsome.” I smile for Ruby and quickly slip the card into the pocket of my apron. I’m ready to forget the incident as Ruby moves around the other side of the counter, and then I notice Gianni. Gianni is sitting, his back straight, his hands poised over his laptop. I don’t doubt he witnessed the scene. I expect him to be furious. He should be at boiling point, his anger flooding to the surface, ready to break down the dam. But he isn’t. It takes me a minute to realize it isn’t anger or hatred on his face. It is fear.
I want to speak to him and reassure him, but Ruby is between us. Plus, the busboy is cleaning down the tables. There are far too many ears and eyes. I take my hand out of my apron pocket. I’d been touching the card nestled in there. I gulp back something that’s now lodged in my throat. I feel guilty, yet I’ve done nothing wrong. His eyes leave my face. He looks back at his laptop. I quickly find something to occupy me. I decide the napkins need refilling. I head over to the cabinet at the back of the shop where we keep the surplus stock. I bend down and fumble with an unopened box. I hear the scrape of his chair, then footsteps reverberating across the floor before I sense his presence behind me.
“Chloe, my office.” I pick up on something in his voice. It’s like he’s trying to remain calm, yet the strain is causing his voice to sound unnatural. I put the box down and walk to the office.
I enter the small room that has now become so familiar to me. Gianni follows, and the door closes softly. He keeps his hand on the handle.
“What the fuck was that?” The anger has arrived.
“Exactly what you saw,” I begin. “Some cheesy guy trying to make a pass at me, that’s all.”
“Then why did you take his card?”
“What was I supposed to do? Say, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t take your number because I’m sleeping with my boss?’”
“You could have told him you were not interested.”
“And make everyone wonder why I’d do that. We’re supposed to be keeping this quiet.” I want to add that there isn’t much point, but it is no use rattling him further. “I didn’t say anything to him. I did not even respond to him. I don’t know why you’re so cross with me.” My voice is rising. I can feel my anger getting the better of me.
“Because you took the card. You took that fucking prick’s card.” His chest rises and falls in quick succession. I pull the card from my apron and hold it out in front of me so Gianni can see it. I slowly tear the card into several pieces before dropping it in the bin.
“That’s what I think of his card. That is what I think of his offer, and that’s what I think of him.” I take a step toward Gianni. “You’re angry with him, but you can’t take it out on me.” I move toward the door. “You don’t need to behave like this. You have nothing to worry about.” Gianni lets go of the door.
“How can you be so sure?” His anger has abated, but only just.
How can I be so sure? Before I can stop myself, I tell him.
“Because I’m totally in love with you.” His eyes scan my face. He’s searching for a tell, a poker face that’ll convince him I’m lying, but he can’t see anything except me. I wait for him to respond. Does he feel the same? I don’t know, and I can’t tell what he’s thinking. The sound of his phone ringing in his pocket breaks the silence, and I slip out the door as Gianni fumbles with his phone.
I walk over to Ruby, who is clearing something out from underneath the counter. I marvel at her energy. The woman never stops. I’m shaking a little as adrenaline works its way through my veins. I told Gianni I love him. I’ve never told anyone that before, and I’m afraid. It is news to me as much as it is to him, and I don’t know why I’m so surprised by this.
“Everything okay?” Ruby asks as she notices me beside her.
“Yes, thank you. Can I help you with that?” I offer, pointing to the pile of rubbish she seems to have dug out from under the counter.
“Sure. Just grab me a bin bag, would you please?” I fetch a bin liner, and Gianni emerges from the office. His face is ashen. I’m suddenly very worried. He goes straight to his laptop that’s still sitting on the table and hurriedly begins to pack it away.
Have I scared him? Has my declaration got him running for the door? A hot sweat begins to gather between my shoulder blades, and a trickle of something runs down my back. I’ve said the wrong thing. It’s too much, too soon. He doesn’t feel the same.
Bag in his hand and coat over his arm, he turns and glances at me, then Ruby.
“I have to go. Something has come up. There’s a problem at another branch.” His words are stale and feel flat. I don’t know whether to believe him. He’s glaring at me yet avoiding me.
Casey bursts through the main door back from her break. She has her phone in her hand, and she barely notices as Gianni pushes past her and walks out of the shop.
I gulp back a bitter taste. Is there really a problem at another branch, or have I made a huge mistake? I glance at the clock, wondering how I will get through the next few hours. I’ll have to wait until I see Gianni tonight to assess the damage.
