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Who the hell knew what was going through Rhys mind?
Who the hell knew what was going on inside her own head right now?
But it was something that snared Shay’s thoughts long after her coffee had gone cold, long after she packed up her stuff and headed back to the tattoo shop, her thoughts so jumbled she forgot to bring coffee back for the lads, her expression so confused that even Cathal had asked if she was okay.
But Shay was far from okay... far from it.
ChapterTwelve
Rhys
Rhys had been confusedas fuck after his encounter with Shay at Rebel Books. He would have bet anything that Shay wouldn’t be interested in him, and yet, there had been a moment of charged energy between them that had frightened Rhys. It wasn’t that he wasn’t that he wasn’t used to attraction...but lately, even before his unfortunate fall, Rhys had become jaded, tired of the mindless sometimes emptiness that washed over him during sex and it stopped being enjoyable.
Dr. Shannon had asked him to tell her why he felt the need to over indulge in drink and women, asking him why he felt the need to devalue himself by using his body to try and take from the fact that he was obviously unhappy.
It was why she had asked him to make a pledge with her, to respect himself enough to keep the progress that he had achieved by staying sober and celibate for the full ninety days. The therapist was smart enough to know that Rhys could have just lied his ass off and agreed to do what she wanted, but when she said that it was a challenge, Rhys felt like it was something he had to do for himself.
It had been a very long time since Rhys had felt like he had done anything for himself...
And then that one innocent touch of Shay’s cheek had made Rhys want to abandon all his hard work and struggle and drag the woman to the nearest dark corner and fuck her senseless. He’d almost been able to taste her on his lips and he came very close to breaking.
And so Rhys had made a quick exit, the look on Shay’s face telling him that he wasn’t the only once confused. He could just be honest with her and tell Shay about his challenge, but the fear that Shay would laugh right in his face and mock him stopped him.
“It’s all about breaking the habit, Rhys” Dr. Shannon had told him. “It’s about changing the self-destructive patterns and learning to like yourself. Once you do that, happiness is only a heartbeat away.”
Rhys had texted Jameson to thank him for the piano music, his bandmate replying instantly to say that there was no hassle, and maybe they could hang out and play some music whenever he had a chance. There was no hesitation in Rhys' answer, he just replied with a “sounds good, gimmie a shout when you’re free”, and Rhys felt like another bridge had started to be rebuilt.
His keyboard at home hadn’t been enough to work on over the past week, but Rhys wasn’t sure turning up at the studio was the best idea. At least at home, he could sing away and no one could hear him. Right now, Rhys didn’t want to risk anyone finding out his secret before he was ready.
Shay had kept his secret though...
Rhys’ mind kept wandering to Shay, and the keyboard sounds were starting to irritate him. Deciding he needed to walk to clear his head, Rhys grabbed his jacket and headed out, not sure why he took the piano music until his wander took him into the industrial estate where Declan’s studio was.
Well, as long as I’m here.
Rhys let himself in, stopping to grab a water before he secluded himself in the large open space with his piano. The moment his fingers started to glide over the keys, Rhys felt the tension and stress leave his body and there was nothing but the music, the piano an extension of Rhys as he played.
Today Rhys didn’t want slow and calming, he wanted to play until his fingers felt like they were bleeding and he was gasping for breath. Muse’sSing for Absolution, was the first song he played, pressing the keys a little harder than usual, then a second after he finished, Rhys moved on to Billie Eilish,When the party’s over,giving it a harder rock feel that he liked to do with lots of songs.
He couldn’t bring himself to sing today, the words caught in his throat as he played the final bars and lifted his fingers from the keys as he sucked in some air, as if his lungs hadn’t dared to breathe throughout the song.
The silence rang in his ears and Rhys reached for the bottle of water, a prickling sensation on the nape of his neck alerting him that he was no longer alone.
The one person that Rhys had wanted to avoid stood in the doorway, amusingly standing in the same place as Andi had just over a week ago. Rhys drank half the bottle before setting it down on the floor, shifting his gaze back to where Declan was still standing.
“Hey.”
Hey...that was all Declan said in greeting and for some reason that tiny word irked Rhys.
“Story.” Rhys said in return, motioning toward the piano. “You need me to go so you can use it?”
“You and I both know that I can’t do it justice, no matter how hard you tried to teach me.”
The memory felt like an assault to his sanity, as Rhys recalled the many times he had sat down with Declan, painstakingly holding his hands as he tried to get him to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. It had taken a long time before Declan was any good, and Rhys was reminded of how accomplished he had felt, teaching Declan to play.
Then they had shown Andi and she had offered to help as well.
“I should go,” Rhys said, rising from behind the piano. “Will you tell Andi I’ll see her for lunch tomorrow?”
