Page 109 of Be My First


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Zadie nods in agreement.

“Were the kids hurt?” Juno asks.

“Just some minor scrapes and bruises. Neither of them needed stitches or anything,” Brooklyn says.

“I can’t imagine if they hadn’t been in the car seat,” Zadie says.

Brooklyn starts crying beside her, and Zadie pulls her in for a hug.

Juno sits down beside Declan, and he puts his arm around her. “I was always afraid something like this would happen.”

He nods. “They are fine though.”

Everyone breaks off into separate conversations, and I make my way over to Eli.

“You okay?” I ask.

He nods. “This is rough.”

“It is,” I agree.

“Thanks for getting Juno here, and for staying with her in Tuscany.”

A wave of guilt washes over me. I don’t regret what we did, but I know Eli would kill me if he found out. He asked me to keep an eye out for her. I feel like I betrayed his trust.

Zadie looks at her phone and then says, “Fuck. Elizabeth has a broken foot and ankle. Both of them have a few cracked ribs. James has a broken collarbone too.”

Everyone looks around nervously.

“How bad is it?”

“No surgery needed. Elizabeth is going to be in a cast for a while and off her feet. James should heal on his own.” She pauses and then says, “It could be worse.”

It could be worse.That seems to be all anyone can say. What else is there to say? It’s awful. People died. People they knew and were close with.

I lean in to Eli and say, “I should go. I feel like you guys don’t need me here.”

He glances over at me. “You aren’t bothering anyone, but you don’t need to stay.”

I feel like I’m overstepping right now. This is family time. I’m not family.

“I’m going to a hotel. Call me if you need anything,” I say, giving him a hug.

I glance over at Juno. She’s leaning on Declan’s shoulders her eyes are closed. I doubt she’s sleeping, but I don’t want to bother her, and honestly, I don’t want to draw attention to us either. How do we say goodbye in front of everyone without drawing suspicion? I slip out before I can overthink it and head back to my hotel.

The next few days are bleak ones. Four members of the President’s staff died in the attack and twelve more civilians. Flags are at half-mast. I turn on the news and watch the airplanes arriving with the bodies of the dead – the entire Sterling family is present on the tarmac along with the families of those who died. Even the First Lady is waiting on crutches. Everyone is dressed in black. I see a few glimpses of Juno, Eli and Brooklyn by her side.

A few days later the funerals start. I watch the news to see Juno. She looks sad, but she’s with her family so I make a decision to leave – go back to the West Coast. Go home. I’ll reach out to her once everything has died down.

Before I leave, I wrestle with whether to say goodbye but decide against it. She’s busy right now. I’m not what’s most important and besides – goodbye was going to be brutal. It’s best for both of us just to move on like we planned.




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