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“Averie,” Cash asks, softly. “What’s her middle name?”
“Mae,” I answer, even softer.
I feel his eyes on me, so I turn to face him. For the first time today, he softens.
“Your mom...”
“Yes, after my mom.” I shut my mouth tight. I don’t say:Yes, after my mom because she gave me Lily. She died and left me alone. I had her funeral, and I got pregnant with Lily the same day. I don’t believe in coincidences. It was a gift. A life-saving gift. I know my Mom is looking after me.
I can feel it.
Every day.
After her funeral, I just stumbled through the next few weeks. It’s a blur, really. I started to feel sick, but I didn’t think much of it since I was depressed. But something felt...different.
And then I was late.
And then I was really late.
I knew.
I knew even before I took a pregnancy test.
I knew Cash was the father without a doubt because I hadn’t been with anyone else.
I wasn’t scared or angry though. As soon as I saw the test, I felt a light return to my soul. I hadn’t planned it. I would never have planned it this way, but Lily was exactly what I needed.
I started eating more, moving more, taking care of myself. I had to - not for me, I didn’t care about myself, but for her. I wanted - no, I needed - to be the sort of mom for her that my mom was for me. I hated that they’d never meet, but I wanted Lily to carry her name everywhere. She’d get to have a piece of Mom forever.
“I like it,” Cash says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I just nod.
His face darkens again like he’s just remembered everything I’ve done to him. I don’t say anything but turn and face the window again.
It’s going to be a long trip.
