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“I don’t know,” I admitted. “The process, I guess? Or how you convinced your mate to do it.” We all laughed softly, Lyric’s eyes compassionate as she focused on me.
“I didn’t convince Alek of anything,” she said. “I was near death. There was no choice. Turn me and risk me dying or watch me die. He went with the option that had a sliver of hope.”
My heart sank at her words. Iwasdying. Ajax knew that but claimed the nights we had left together were worth far more than the risk of ending things too soon. But I could feel death on the back of my neck like an icy breeze. Time was more than running out, and if there was even the slightest chance I could stay with Ajax, I would take it no matter the risks.
“Something similar happened with me,” Jocelyn said, shrugging. “But there were even more risks because of me being a witch. It took longer for me to come out of the transition process too. Benedict thought he made things worse and had to live with that and just…waitto see if I survived it.”
We all instinctively turned to Valor, who’d remained quiet on the subject.
“I’m undecided,” she said.
“And that’s fair,” Lyric supported her. The two were closer than all of us combined, almost like sisters.
“Why?” I asked, not wasting time being coy. She didn’thaveto tell me, but I was dying to know. “You’re mated,” I continued. “You have vampire blood in your line and you have no underlying conditions that make you high risk. You’d likely transition without a hitch.”
“All valid points Lachlan and I have discussed at length,” she said, taking a sip of her drink. Music played on the speakers hung throughout the room, filling the silence as she gathered her thoughts. “I’m still adjusting to my new role in this life,” she explained. “I grew up practically brainwashed by my family…” She paused, an old pain flashing in her eyes. We’d spoken about it before, about her father and brother and their role in the Sons of Honor. “And I don’t want to make another life-altering decision until I’ve healed from some of the trauma that family caused.”
I reached over and squeezed her free hand. “That’s incredibly self-aware of you,” I said. “And a very healthy approach at life.” The psychology doctorate in me couldn’t help but spill out a little.
“But our situations are incredibly different,” Valor said. “I don’t have a clock ticking over my head like you do. If I were you, I’d be making the same demands.”
Lyric and Jocelyn nodded their agreement.
I breathed deeply, happy to have found this circle of friends who didn’t judge me and never treated me like glass.
“I just feel like I’ve finally found my place in this world,” I said, thinking of Ajax and my new friends and the world that felt right despite how wrong it should feel. “But with him refusing to even entertain the idea…I feel like my choices are being stripped away.”
And I didn’t have many choices left.
“Any…” I paused, my mind suddenly drawing a blank on the word I was searching for. My skin tightened, a little flare of panic bursting inside me when I kept searching for the word I wanted to say and couldn’t remember it. It was a common word, I’d said it hundreds of times before.
Sympathy and patience radiated from the girls as I opened and closed my mouth several times.
“Advice,” I said on a rushed exhale, then swallowed around the fear climbing up my throat. The same fear that was streaking through my blood, turning it to ice.
I was starting to forget words.
Words.
The chilly breath of death washed over me, my already weak muscles trembling.
“Don’t give up,” Lyric whispered just as awareness rippled over my body.
A second later, Ajax sped into the room, dropping to a crouch before me. “Grace, what’s wrong?” he asked, eyes wide and concerned as he cupped my cheeks.
I kept my lips closed, terrified I wouldn’t be able to find the right words to explain the fear he must’ve felt down our bond. He leaned his forehead against mine, and I breathed in his scent.
“I’m just…I think I need some air,” I lied.
He scooped me into his arms, cradling me against his chest as he turned to dip his head to Lyric, then Jocelyn and Valor. “If you’ll excuse me,” he said. “Me and my mate have places to be.”
The girls waved me off with looks of support, and I smiled at them as Ajax took off at vampire speed, not stopping until we were in my favorite spot in the estate’s gardens—a little gazebo tucked among high hedges and night-blooming flowers, offering the best privacy save for the night sky watching above us.
Ajax sat me on my feet, towering above me as he looked me in the eyes. “Tell me the truth.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, moving past him to sit on the little wooden bench edging the gazebo so he couldn’t see the shakiness in my limbs while standing.
He tracked the move anyway.
