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“You know how your cousin Chase makes a lot of noise during your favorite show,Bluey?” TJ asks and Alexis nods. “That’s what a nuisance means.”
I peer up at him and twist my mouth into a frown. “Not help’n, Uncle TJ.”
“Right, right, sorry. Alexis, let’s not repeat those no-no words to Mommy and Daddy. It will get Uncle TJ into some serious trouble.”
Alexis nods her head solemnly. “Okay, Uncle TJ.”
We stop by Drew’s room and quickly collect him before Chase can cause any disruptions. Drew reminds me of thePeanutscharacter Linus, the little boy who sucks his thumb, always holding his blanket. I pick him up while Chase and Wyatt race out of the building.
“Bitches, bitches, bitches!” Chase spins around in a circle, throwing his arms up in the air like he’s just been released from prison. An elderly grandmother stumbles, her features morphing into shock. She glares at us, shaking her head before entering the school.
“That is exactly why we should never have kids,” I joke.
“Never say never,” TJ singsongs. “Despite the minor snag of teaching our niece and nephews the word ‘bitches’, I think we’d be excellent parents.”
“TJ, we make excellent uncles. But kids of our own? We’re not ready.”
TJ groans. “Connor, don’t be such a wet blanket. You always say that. We’re totes ready.”
I shake my head. “We are constantly goin’ in different directions. Didn’ ye want to travel with Cam and Andie this summer to Greece? I’m thinkin’ we should look into getting a dog before a baby.”
“We’re too busy to have a dog.”
“Exactly my point.”
“You’re no fun.” TJ pouts.
“Are we seriously having this conversation again? We’ve talked about this,mo fhíorghrá.”
“Oh, don’t pull out the, my true love, soul-mate bullshit in that sexy Irish accent on me, mister.” He looks around and whispers, “You know it makes me horny.”
Ignoring him, I unlock the car. “I don’t think we’re in a position to have kids right now.”
“Look, I’ve always loved kids and you are so good with Lex’s little monsters. Studies have shown that most gay parents are more successful at raising children because it’s a choice that we’re making, not one we’re forced into.”
“Yeah, and our choice is not right now.” I chew the inside of my cheek as I buckle Wyatt into his car seat. The echoes of what the preschool moms said earlier make me self-doubt. “What if they get made fun of for having two dads? What if we have a girl and she needs a woman’s guidance? A mother figure, so to speak?”
“Then she’ll have three mommies to help her out. Hello? Have you already forgotten Aunt Kiki, Aunt Sarah, and Auntie Andie? Earmuffs, kids!” TJ barks over his shoulder. Buckling my seat belt, I glance in the rearview mirror while the three in the back obediently cover their ears, all except for Drew, who has fallen asleep already. “I’ll take down any punk-ass kid who tries to make fun of ours for having two fabulous, incredibly good-looking, well-dressed dads,” he stage-whispers, folding his arms over his chest.
“Yer going to beat up a six-year-old for making fun of our kid?”
“Probably not beat up. I’m not the physically violent sort, but he’ll wish he never messed with Bartie, I guarantee. I have zero boundaries.”
“I’m aware,” I say dryly. “Who is Bartie?”
“A conversation for another time.” TJ pats my thigh.
“Okay guys, earmuffs off,” I tell the kids. “You’d have to give up yer Jeep, y’know.”
“What? Why?”
“Because it’s not safe. What if ye roll it and the baby falls out? Ye know yer a shite driver.”
“What do you propose?”
“I dunno. A minivan? Why are ye givin’ me that face?”
“I’m not driving a minivan. That would kill my whole hot-dad vibe. No way in hell will I be caught dead in one, so don’t even go there.”
