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“Is this what I think it is?”
“Yep. The Baby Pro 2000. It records all of your baby’s cries, sleep times, feedings, diaper changes, car seat time, and other stuff.” She arches her neck and points to the instruction manual I’ve dug out of the box. “We’ll know if you’re feeding the baby because it goes to the app on our phones. But not yours. This is pure trial for you and Connor.”
“Can I change its onesie? This shade of blue is hideous. Like a sad scrap of hospital scrubs.”
“It tracks outfit changes as well, so yes. Unfortunately, the company preprogrammed a name. I’m not sure if you can change it or not.” She rips the instruction manual out of my hands.
“What’s his name?”
“BB-2.”
“He’s named after aStar Warsdroid? What the hell, Kiki? I can’t name my kid BB-2.”
“TheStar Warsdroid was BB-8. We think it’s kind of cute. It’s short for Baby Blue model 2.”
“I’m supposed to call my baby, Baby Blue? That’s horrific.”
She gives me her stop-being-a-dumbass look. “It’s not a real baby. This is a trial to show Connor you guys are ready for this.Comprende?”
“Fine. Come on, Benji, let’s take you shopping for some appropriate clothes.”
“Benji?” Kiki grins.
“I shall call him Benjamin Blueberry.”
“Because that’s not gay or anything.”
I smile. “It’s perfect, thank you. Connor is gonna love it.”
“Come on, let’s go shopping. You’ll need diapers, formula, and a car seat. Remember, follow the instructions and you’ll be fine.”
The bitch is lucky I forgive easily, because this just might work.
Chapter 10
Sarah
“Jax, I’m leavingfor an appointment! Your dad’s down at the barn,” I shout up the stairs. He doesn’t respond, so I take a few steps up and call again. “Jax, can you hear me? Boys?” I bite my fingernail. He told me this morning he was going to be studying for a chemistry test in his room with his friend Sam after school. I didn’t see him when they got home, but I know they’re up there from the music playing. He’s been so lackadaisical about his grades lately that I was thrilled to hear he had a study buddy and they were taking this test seriously.
I check my watch and groan. I’m going to be late for my appointment if I don’t leave in a few minutes. I spring up the stairs toward Jax’s room. He’s fifteen now, almost sixteen, and he’s been a good kid with a few lasting issues with his mom. I can’t blame him. Lex’s ex, Alana, has always been manipulative and selfish, and his dad was never in the picture. It’s a wonder Jax turned out to be such a great kid.
“Jax?” I want to be the cool parent and not barge in, but I’m late, which calls for Cool Mom to take a back seat. I turn the knob and swing the door open. My mouth drops open and my eyes widen. “Oh my god, oh my god, I—oh god.”
“Mom, get the fuck out!”
But I can’t. I stand there, frozen, my hand glued to the doorknob. Sam must be short for Samantha. It’s a pretty name for the attractive teenage girl currently lying naked under my equally buck-naked teenage son.
“Mom,” Jax shouts again, spurring me into action.
“Shit, I’m…” I turn on my heel and slam the door shut.
I pause in the hallway, not sure which direction to turn. Lex…I need Lex for this one.
“Jax, you and Sam need to get dressed and be downstairs in the office in ten. No, five!” My shouting voice sounds steady, but I’m shaking like a leaf. He can’t ejaculate in five minutes, can he? The thought of him ejaculating is too much for my brain to handle. Why does the word ‘ejaculate’ keep spinning around in my head?Gross, stop thinking about him doing that, Sarah!
I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, and I’ve seen my share of people doing whatever they please on tour, but seeing your teenage son in the act is something I wish I could burn from my retinas.Please, God, tell me he’s using protection.
Lex is down at the stables, so I type out a text telling him to get his ass up here pronto. I call my appointment and cancel, and settle the twins in the playroom with their favorite show and some snacks.
