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Andie waves at me before picking up her phone. “He’s here,” she says and promptly hangs up the receiver. She peers at me. “Good morning, TJ. What’s on your face?”
“Slay the day, Shorts.” I throw my jacket and satchel on her desk like Miranda fromThe Devil Wears Prada. Kiki and Sarah walk out of their offices, frowning. “Ladies, looking snatched today. What’s the tea?” I sit in the window seat and cross my legs. “FML, that reminds me of coffee. NGL, I could use a gallon of the chipmunk buzz.”
“Tammy Jean, stop with the teen lingo crap, already.” Kiki folds her arms over her chest. “We have a bone to pick with you. Where’s BB-2?”
“You mean Benjamin Blueberry? Kiki, that is an excellent question.” I pretend to ponder while I pick a piece of lint off my pant leg. “Define the definition ofwhereexactly. Do you mean likeWhere in the World is Carmen SandiegoorWhere’s Waldo?”
“TJ,” Sarah cries, “did you lose the baby?”
“Take a chill pill, Sare Bear. He’s safe-ish…”
“What the hell does safe-ish mean? Oh my god, he’s at Neiman’s, isn’t he? Probably stuffed under a sales rack,” Kiki says, throwing her arms in the air. “I knew we should have put a tracker on him.”
“TJ, that baby was expensive. It’s not something we picked up at Target in the toy section. You can’t just leave it somewhere.”
I rub my temples and groan. “Sare Bear, I love you, but I don’t appreciate you whining this early in the morning before I’ve had the appropriate amount of caffeine.”
The elevator dings and Connor steps off. “Love, you forgot the doll in the car seat. He was cryin’ again. I think yer supposed to do something. Oh hey, everyone. Sorry to drop and run, but I have to set up for a brunch we’re hostin’ downstairs today for a tech company.”
“Thanks, C-Pub.” I wink.
“C-Pub?” Kiki laughs.
“That’s his millennial name.”
“I’ve never heard of a millennial name. That’s not a thing.” Kinky smirks.
“It’s the rage on TikTok. You’re just jelly you don’t have a cool name like C-Pub.”
“I don’t answer to it.” Connor ducks his head, handing me the baby.
“What’s a millennial name?” Sarah asks.
“It’s your first initial with something you do after it. So, Connor works at a pub, so he’s C-Pub.”
“Why wouldn’t you just call him C-Bar?”
“Because, Kinky, that doesn’t sound as good. Hello, amateur hour. Andie would be A-Cam for Andie and camera.”
“So I’d be S-Makeup?”
“No, Sare Bear, you would be S-Shine. Sounds better.”
“What would I be?” Kiki asks. “K-Dress? Ooh! What about K-Bestie?”
“More like K-desperado.”
“What? I’m not desperate. Kiki slumps down next to Sarah. “You know what, I don’t care. Millennial names are dumb. It’s not even trending on TikTok. You probably made it up.”
“Whatevs, K-Hater.”
“Hey guys, can we get back on track?” Andie raises her eyebrow.
Connor waves goodbye. I toss the baby on the bench beside me, causing the three of them to gasp. “What?”
Andie frowns. “TJ, you can’t fling the baby around like it’s a doll.”
“Newsflash, Shorts, itisa doll.” I roll my eyes. “You guys are acting like I’m Michael Jackson and just dangled Blanket over the balcony.”
