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“Jesus, what’s wrong with it?” I ask.
“It’s possessed,” Jax whispers, his back to Sarah.
“I’m pretty sure TJ dropped it or spilled liquid on it because its voice box is messed up.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s possessed,” Jax mumbles.
“How long does he have to carry this thing around?” I ask Sarah, smirking at Jax and his terrifying baby.
“He has to be BB-2’s baby daddy for two weeks.”
I fold my arms over my chest. “Well, I think it’s a solid plan. If yer gonna have sex, then ye should know yer consequences.”
“This is the worst.” Jax takes the bottle Sarah hands him and shoves it into the crying baby’s mouth. A loud gas-exploding sound emits from the baby. “Oh no, not again!” He runs out of the kitchen with a look of pure disgust on his face.
“What just happened?” I ask Sarah.
“I think BB2 had an explosion in his diaper.”
I grimace and then chuckle, rubbing my hand down my face. “Sunshine, have I ever told ye how brilliant ye are? He will never want to have sex again.”
Sarah smiles knowingly. “I’m not sure what model Kiki ordered, but that thing is Satan’s spawn. He may want to try and have picnics again, but he’ll always remember to keep his salami wrapped.”
“Look at you using my sex lingo.” I reach for her and pull her to me, kissing her lips. “He’s gonna hate us.”
Sarah loops her arms around my waist. “Maybe, but someday he’ll thank us. The weird thing, though? Wyatt loves the baby. I caught him carrying it around the other day and watching TV with it. Like it soothes him.”
“Yer tellin’ me, our anxiety-ridden son is calmed by a creepy baby with an eyepatch? He’s more fucked up than I thought.”
“Lex!” She pushes my chest. “He is not fucked up.”
I lift her up onto the counter and step between her legs, smirking. She links her arms around my neck. “I’m teasin’, Sunshine. Honestly? I haven’t heard him cry over something for the last couple of days.”
“BB-2…” Sarah smiles up at me. “He may be the answer to all our problems.”
“Let me get this straight. We’ve spent hundreds of dollars on some therapist who wants him to draw fucking doodles when he gets anxious and all we had to do is get him a scary-ass doll?”
“Apparently.”
“You’ve killed two birds with one stone, Sunshine.” I grin in awe.
“I’m fucking brilliant if I do say so myself.” She threads her fingers through my hair.
“Brilliant and sexy. How did I get so lucky?”
Sarah shrugs and grins, our noses touching. “I waited around a long time for you to come to your senses.”
I touch my lips to hers and pull back a breath. “Good things come to those who wait.”
Sarah tilts her head back and laughs. “You’re so full of yourself, Lex Ryan.”
I growl. “Where are the kids?”
“Well, Jax will be trying to figure out how to change BB-2’s diaper for the next half hour until he has to go to practice and the twins are shopping with your mom.”
“So we’ve got plenty of time.” I capture her lips in a hungry kiss. She groans, threading her fingers through my hair. Sarah pulls back when we hear Jax curse and the robot baby’s weird crying sound again.
“Should we help him?”
