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Kiki, Sarah, and Andie smirk at each other.
“We tried to warn you with BB-2,” Sarah singsongs.
“Oh please, the only lesson that thing taught me was to sleep with one eye open in case it tried to smother me in my sleep.”
“Your daddy’s silly,” Andie baby-talks to Rilee, who has opened her eyes. “How is Bartie doing with all the chaos?”
“She loves the twins. We’ll find her sleeping under their cribs or on their changing table. She’s always watching over them. It’s really sweet.”
“Oreo and Furball were like that with the boys. Once they got mobile, the cats knew to hide out in their cat trees if the kids got to be too much.
“That’s a great idea. We’ll have to get her one. Thank you guys for trying to help me. I’m sorry I didn’t treat Benjamin Blueberry very well.”
“You’re forgiven.” Kiki hands Andie Cara and sits down next to me, pulling me into a side-hug. “We’re proud of you, TJ. We weren’t sure you could handle it, but look at you. A daddy to two girls. And you finally got to use a version of the name Bartholomew.”
“Thanks, K-Bestie. I’d try to come up with something fabulous to say, but I’m brain-dead.”
“Sometimes silence is all that’s needed.” She winks.
Andie and Sarah place the babies back in the stroller while Kiki wraps a summer scarf around her neck.
“I swear your stomach has doubled in size since I saw you last. Did you eat the whole box of Snickers bars from Costco again?”
“Rude!” She swats my hand away and runs a hand over her growing belly. “You know by now I’m not a cute pregnant person. And that only happened one time.”
“Sure, Kinky. Okay, ladies, ready for our soiree?”
“Where are we going?” Andie asks.
“Jazzy hands! It’s a surprise. We’re walking there.”
“Oh great,” Kiki mumbles, grabbing her purse. “What are you afraid we’ll mess up your new beloved minivan?”
“Don’t be hatin’ on Vinnie Van Gogh,” I say. “That baby purrs like a kitten, and the sliding remote doors are the bomb. It has video monitors, and sensors so there’s no chance of me leaving something on the roof or hood. It also has backup cameras so I don’t have a chance of running the stroller over when I accidentally leave it behind the car. It happened with the Range Rover and I have learned my lesson. The babies weren’t in it, of course.”
“Jesus, how do you survive?” Kiki smirks.
“You named your minivan Vinnie Van Gogh?” Sarah asks, placing a blanket over Rilee in the double stroller.
“Cutsies, right? Vinny for mini and Van Gogh because it’s a van and it goes places. Connor came up with it and I thought it wastrés magnifique.”
“Let’s go before I get hangry and lose my shit over a van named Vinnie.” Kiki grouses.
“Someone’s G to the rumpy.” I say to the twins, turning the stroller around. “Auntie Kiki needs a Snickers bar.”
The other two grab their things and we head out into the late-summer sunshine over to the park.
“We’re going to a park for lunch?”
“Kiki, can you just flow with the moment for once in your life?”
“I think you mean go with the flow,” Andie chimes in.
“Okay, world traveler.” I spread a large blanket under a shade tree in the grass and take out a to-go bag from our favorite deli.
“I can flow, but someone is going to have to help Andie and me off the ground.”
“I’m not a sadist, Kiki. Andie, I brought a deluxe folding chair for you. It even has a footrest. Isn’t it darling?” I unfold the chair and pat the cushioned seat.
