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“Yep.”
“And you’re how old?”
“Twenty-three.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, why?”
Lowering her gaze, she seemed to fidget with her food, moving it around the plate and stabbing the tip of the fork into her potatoes. Her actions reminded me of a child trying to avoid having to answer. “I do kinda mind, but … you seem okay to talk to.” She shoveled in another bite and let out an appreciative moan. “It’s been so long since I had real food. The shit they put in feeding tubes is nasty.”
“You’re ill, then?”
“I suppose you could say that. The docs call itcatatonia associated with schizoaffective disorder. Or something like that.”
Just like that, the burning question of why she’d choose to remain in Nightshade at the risk of imprisonment made sense. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Not your fault.” She rubbed the back of her hand across her nose and sniffed. “Where we come from, they don’t know what we know. I killed, which sucks, but I didn’t have a choice. He was evil cloaked as a human, and it looked like I’d murdered a good and innocent man. An upstanding citizen. I was the one who looked crazy.” Snorting a laugh, she shook her head. “Turns out, he was an overlord here, too.”
“So, was it killing him that put you in a catatonic state?”
“No. I was arrested, and thanks to a longstanding history of psychiatric evaluations, I was deemed unfit for trial and admitted to a psychiatric hospital for treatment. So happens, one of the overlord’s little minions posed as an orderly there and put a hex on me.” She pushed the food away from her. “He basically keeps me prisoner inside my head. Can’t really move my body, unless someone is lifting me up. Can’t talk, or make any facial expression. I just feel trapped there.”
“That’s why you come here. These demons, you hunted them?”
Gaze still cast downward, she nodded. “This was personal.”
“Is there no one who can help you? Did they even bother to question what made you turn unresponsive?”
Shrugging, she shook her head. “What could they possibly imagine, Farryn? They have to believe what their eyes see. What their human tests tell them. It’s not like they scan me for demon hexes, you know? I’m basically screwed.”
“There’s got to be a way to set you free from this.”
“Maybe.” She waved her hands dismissively and popped another sweet potato in her mouth. “But enough about that. You’ve got enough on your plate with the baby. I just … didn’t want you to think I was out to mess things up. Van Croix was cool to let me stay here. It’s nice. I like this place.”
Maybe it was something in her eyes, a deep sincerity I’d rarely seen in other human beings, but I believed her. Not that I’d been the best judge of character my whole life, but Vespyr didn’t strike me as ingenuine. On the contrary, I felt an odd sense of comfort around her. “It’s nice having you here, too. It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone to talk to. Besides Anya, of course.”
“Humans here have no idea about demons and angels, though. So weird, right?”
“Sometimes, I wonder if Anya questions it.” I leaned forward, lowering my voice. “But she’d probably never admit it.”
“Probably better, anyway. Getting people to see things for what they are is exhausting.”
I snorted at the truth in that. “It is. I spent my whole life questioning what was real and not. Sometimes you just have to stop questioning and let things be what they are. Even if it goes against what you’ve been taught to believe. You know what I mean?”
Again, she cast her gaze from mine and smiled. “Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. You’re really easy to talk to. It’s nice having conversations again.” She ran her finger over an embroidered pattern in the table cloth, seemingly lost in thought. “What’s it like? Pregnancy?”
Expelling a breath, I stared down at my stomach, which bore no evidence that a baby lived inside there. “It’s weird, sometimes I feel something there, and other times, not at all.” I didn’t bother to mention that it was the times when I didn’t feel anything at all that I felt most relieved. Because I wasn’t reminded that there was something very wrong with this pregnancy.
“I think it’s beautiful. Life growing inside of you. Must be the most incredible feeling in the world.”
Lips flattened, I nodded and, for whatever reason, felt the telling sting of tears. Hormones, I guessed. Or guilt, as nothing she said was entirely tear-worthy. Because I felt shitty for not having the same thoughts about the baby that everyone else seemed to have. Once it was born, I’d be separated from it, after all. Forced to leave and face whatever punishment awaited me in Hell.
Vespyr reached for one of the daisies in the vase and snapped off the bit of the stem which had been submerged. Leaning to the side of the plate of food, she stretched toward me, and on instinct, I sat back from her, but realizing her intent, I bowed my head, allowing her to slip the flower behind my ear.
“What was that for?”
“You just looked like you needed a dose of daisies.” Smiling, she sat back in her chair. “Whenever I was sad, growing up, my momma would always say to me, ‘You know what you need? A dose of daisies.’ So we’d go to this little shack of an ice cream shop, calledDaisy’s, not far from our house. It was off the side of the road, surrounded by this massive field of wildflowers. Just as far as you could see. So beautiful and bright. So many colors, blended together.” A sparkle shined in her eyes. “I remember I always felt so warm and free. Like nothing bad could ever touch me there.”
There was something about Vespyr that she wasn’t telling me. A secret about her, but I didn’t get a sense it was something threatening. On the contrary, I got a sense that someone had hurther.
