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“Cambion.”
“Can she be trusted?”
“He,” he clarified.
“Ah. Well, you saidskilled, I just assumed.”
“And he would only harm the baby if he happens to yearn for eternal agony himself. No cambion in his right mind would dare bring harm to a sentinel. Particularly said sentinel’s only child.”
“Already protective.” I chuckled, the humor dying on a sigh when I rested my hand against my still-small belly. “And if there are any complications?”
“That is a thought which has kept me up most of the evening. And so I’ll ask again. Are you certain you want to leave behind what you know? What’s familiar and comfortable?”
My thoughts rewound to the day in the OB’s office, the one and only appointment I’d bothered to make in the last few months. “Women do home births all the time. I’ll deal with the pain.”
“Of that, I am certain, Tu Nazhja. However, I’m not sureIcan deal with watching you go through that pain.”
“Is pregnancy the only way to break the curse?”
“Two souls can’t be claimed by the curse, so yes. Why do you ask?”
I hesitated to tell him at first, fearing the possibility that he’d tell me something I didn’t want to hear. “My pregnancy test came back negative, actually. Is that normal?”
“Perhaps, yes. Your tests aren’t exactly equipped to detect the complexities of what makes up a Sentinel. They test for human hormones, which may not even be detectable.”
“Even if the baby is half human?”
“Who’s to say how much when they first develop?”
There were so many unknowns and nothing to guide me through what was normal and abnormal. “I keep trying to imagine a version of you and I smooshed together in an adorable little cherub with dark hair and beautiful eyes.”
The smile on his face faded to something serious, and I didn’t have to ask to know what had soured his mood.
“Will it hurt? My transition to cambion?” I didn’t look at him, knowing the question probably infuriated him even now.
“I’ve never watched it happen before.”
“Then, how do we even know it’ll happen? Maybe it’s a myth to keep nosy humans like me from–”
“It’s not a myth, Farryn, and I suggest you not take it lightly. What you’ve signed yourself over for could be a myriad of things.”
Wringing the sheet in my hands failed to calm the burgeoning anxiety that crawled over the back of my neck. The very thing I didn’t want to think about. “Am I condemned to Hell?”
“Hell for humans is not a physical place, per se. There are the Infernal Lands where demons dwell, but most of hell happens inside the mind, when your demons are given free reign. When they’re no longer bound by the rules of the heavens.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve forgone the protection that most are given by birth. A treaty, of sorts, between Heaven and Hell. When our child is born, you will no longer fall under their protection.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Demons are not permitted to toy with humans, any more than angels are permitted to cavort with them. When humans go out of their way to commit a crime against the heavens, as you did by having that symbol translated, they essentially forfeit the protection of the angels and open the gates to the darkest parts of the mind. Your demons consume you to the point of absolute paralysis.”
Everything I’d been taught about Hell seemed like a ridiculous fairytale to me, with some caricature version of the devil. The place he was talking about sounded terrifying. Real. “Are you talking delirium?”
“Yes. When you succumb to those demons, you become vulnerable . There are five realms, one of which seeks out these vulnerable souls. It’s called Eradye. Imagine your world, but through a much darker lens. A land of death and destruction.”
Holy shit, this was a lot to unpack. “But … Xhiphias …”
