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“Look, I know something has changed. How could it not? You were trapped in a black void for months. But, in spite of what you say, your true self remains at the core, Jericho. It’s there. And I know you won’t hurt me.”
“Then, why do you look terrified?”
“Because you’re a little terrifying when you look like that. I mean, I know giant moths aren’t going to hurt me, but it’d scare the shit out of me if one got tangled in my hair. You see what I’m saying?”
Without a word, he pushed up from his seat and unlatched the belt from my wrists, then looped it back through his slacks. His muscles still held a shine of sweat that had his tattoos glistening. He swiped up his discarded dress shirt, which he tossed to me. With a beat of hesitation, he gripped the back of my neck and planted a chaste kiss to my forehead. “I’ll return soon.”
“You’re leaving again?” I slipped my arms into the shirt that was twice my size and buttoned it up.
“Yes. I need to find a Band-aid to put on a gaping hole that’s going to be a serious infection before we know it.”
“I don’t understand. How are you so sure this is going to turn into such a huge problem?”
Granted, I’d never seen the more demonic side to him, but it was Jericho. The same crazy, obsessed man who would’ve stabbed his own heart out, rather than raise so much as a finger to harm me.
“Because I’ve been down this path before. I’ve had my vitaeilem depleted to the point of violent thoughts. And believe me when I say, it gets worse. Much worse.”
Even so, despite his words, I couldn’t imagine him harming me. Ever. “So, what’s the Band-aid?”
“I need vitaeilem. Desperately.”
“The angels’ lifeblood? Isn’t that what I felt earlier? When you … you know …”
“Yes.” The way he ran his hand back and forth over his skull, I knew he was stressed. Upset. “I want to give you love and pleasure, Farryn. But unlike humans, who can give love and receive it in return, a demon cannot. It’s consumed as light fare, but it doesn’t fill. Therefore, what is given depletes. And that’s when the taking becomes greedier. More violent. I no longer have the capacity to replenish vitaeilem. There’s an imbalance in me that needs rescaling.”
“How?”
“You ask so many questions.”
“I wouldn’t, if you weren’t so mysterious all the time. I’m just curious to know how it works, is all.”
He rubbed his jaw. “There are two ways: I slaughter an angel and consume his vitaeilem, watching him die a slow and painful death. Or I find a shady dealer in town willing to sell the generic and watered-down version.”
“A drug?” I wanted to ask him how it was made, but I was afraid he’d actually tell me.
“It isn’t my first choice. But neither is murder. For the moment, anyway. I’m in a bit of an impasse.” Eye screwed shut, he stroked back and forth over his head. “I can’t be without you. The desire and craving I have for you are like lodged hooks pulling at my chest. At the same time, I can’t be near you. My body wants to claim you, and at the moment, I’d riskenchainsz. I need something to bridge the two. Vitaeilem is the bridge.”
“What isenchainsz?” My accent was nowhere near as clear as his when I spoke the word.
“Sexual slavery, essentially. Fucking you damn near to death.”
A terrifying thought. I could hardly walk after one night with Jericho. Several nights in a row would’ve probably put me into paralysis.
“This drug … does it have side effects?”
“Of course it does. What drug is taken without consequence? It won’t be enough, though, it never is. But it’s better than the alternative.” He shook his head slowly. “I will not suffer another eternity without you.”
Lowering my gaze, I nodded, not entirely understanding the repercussions, but I trusted him to do what he needed to for himself. And I was selfish enough to want him to feel better for us. “Whatever you do, please just be careful. Because I won’t be without you, either.”
11
THE BARON
Across from where his mother sat, the baron peered through the carriage window, staring out at the thick patches of trees and open fields slipping past. For weeks, his mother had spoken of the mentor she had arranged for him, and it was only when Lord Praecepsia decided to travel to Rome that she’d informed the baron of a scheduled meeting.
According to her, the boy would meet in secret with this mentor every time his father went out of town, which seemed much more frequently as of late.
“What was the nature of your union with my father?”he asked his mother on the journey.
