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I laugh, but it doesn’t make me feel much better. Actually, I kind of still want to cry. A lot. Especially when I can feel my stupid head getting dizzy and heavy and…I feel like I’m overstimulated. Stress is a trigger, and I’m fucking stressed out of my mind.
Breathe, I remind myself as Mia inquires, “What did Mack say?”
“I haven’t talked to him about it yet,” I answer.
“Are you going to tell him?”
“Of course,” I mutter. “But I don’t know if he’ll be proud or pissed at me for standing up for myself.”
“Why would he be pissed?” Mia quizzes me.
“I mean, Hazel’s his daughter. And he was so great with my family, and now I’m causing a rift between him and his child, and––”
“You didn’t cause the rift, Kate,” Blake argues. “It was already there.”
With a one-shouldered shrug, I rest my head against the window and close my eyes. “Yeah, but I made it worse.”
“We’re here for you,” Ash reminds me, turning into the arena.
And they are. I know they are. Even when I’m a recluse. Even when I push them away. They’ve been the best friends a girl could ask for, and I refuse to ever take them for granted again.
“Thanks, guys. For putting up with me like you do.”
“Trust us,”––Blake nudges her shoulder against mine––“it isn’t exactly a chore. And trust Mack too. He loves you. I can see it.”
“So can I,” Ash adds.
“Me too,” Mia chimes in. “Not gonna lie. It makes me jealous as hell.”
“Ah, don’t worry, Mia.” Ash grins at her best friend. “We’ll find you someone.”
“Someone who isn’t an ass and doesn’t air my dirty laundry to everyone on the internet?” She rolls her eyes. “Yeah. Good luck.”
* * *
Once Ash finds a parking spot,we head into the arena. The place is busy, like always, as we make our way to our seats. Students are packed into the student section, while the other fans are scattered around the rest of the oval, munching on hotdogs and popcorn while juggling posters with different teammates' names scrawled across them.
My attention catches on a poster with Colt’s jersey number and the words,Can I have your babies?written in bold, black sharpie. I glance at Ash, my stomach knotting for her. She’s staring at the poster, too, her expression unreadable.
“You okay?” I ask.
“At least that one’s pretty tame.” She tears her attention from the poster and sits down on one of the plastic seats. “Blah. Dating a famous hockey player is kind of the worst. Not gonna lie.”
“It’s a good thing Colt loves you,” I remind her.
“Yup. And don’t get me wrong. I trust him,” she clarifies, “but it doesn’t always make those”––she waves her hand toward the gaggle of half-dressed girls, Colt’s number painted on their cheeks as they raise their posters high in the air––“situations any easier to swallow.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re lucky Macklin isn’t famous, Kate.” Ash tucks her long blonde hair behind her ear, sitting beside Mia and Blake.
She’s right. At least when it comes to that particular aspect. The idea of women ogling the love of my life behind my back sounds pretty terrible. Doing it in front of me? Yeah,…even worse, especially with Ashlyn’s history. Before Colt, she dated Logan, another hockey player. Except he was an ass. Because he cheated on her all the time with puck bunnies, and she had no idea. Honestly, none of us did. And the fact Ash was willing to open up her heart again––to a hockey player who literally has a section of women in the stands who would love to hook up with him no less––proves how much she loves the guy.
I settle into my seat and watch as the announcer’s voice crackles through the speakers. One by one, the players head onto the ice. Theo and Colt search the stands as they line up next to their teammates. Colt spots us and leans closer to Theo, saying something to him. Their expressions light up almost instantly, and they wave. Cupping her hands over her mouth, Blake shouts Theo’s name while Ash waves her hand back and forth shyly, not wanting to cause a scene.
The girl’s always been a wallflower. I can only imagine what it’s like to date someone like Colt, who was born to be in the limelight. It must be hard. Damn near impossible some days.
I look at Ash again.
