Page 76 of Ruined

I’d given him up.

I’d not only allowed him to walk away from me; I urged him to do it.

And now it had been two days, and I’d barely slept. If I wasn’t crying because I’d lost Leo, I was crying because I’d lost Archie.

It was a wonder I had any tears left for how much I’d cried.

Oddly enough, it seemed that I was getting support for all that I was dealing with. Ellery had stopped by yesterday afternoon to check in on me. Part of me had been convinced that she was going to tell me that I needed to reconsider what I’d done with Leo.

She didn’t, even though I was certain she knew what was happening.

And while I should have been relieved that she wasn’t trying to change my mind or make me question my decision, I wasn’t.

Because there was a small part of me that had wanted that. Needed it, even. All of my hopes were dashed when she somehow found a way to be supportive of all that I was going through without pressuring me to do anything about Leo.

And me?

I couldn’t bring myself to admit that I might have overreacted. I might have taken things just a bit too far.

So much of my conversation with Leo had replayed over and over in my mind, and I couldn’t begin to understand what compelled me to push him away.

But maybe that was the grief talking.

Maybe that was what anyone would feel in a similar situation. There had been so much loss in my life. As it was, I’d used any of my time that wasn’t spent crying or feeling horrible about what I’d done to Leo, grieving for Archie and trying to figure out where I might be able to find Garrett. With the amount of loss that had come my way recently, I wanted to find anyone I could that meant something to me. Garrett was part of that equation.

When it came to Leo, I started to think that perhaps I was having second thoughts about how I’d ended things with him because I was desperate to hold on to anyone.

I let out a laugh.

Who was I trying to kid?

This had nothing to do with that.

This was about me knowing precisely what I’d found in Leo and regretting that I’d given it up.

And knowing him, knowing the kind of man he was, I had no doubt that he’d understand why I’d reacted the way I did. If I called him, apologized, and begged him to give me another chance, I had to believe he’d give it to me.

That was the reason I now had my phone in my hand. If I was going to do something, I needed to do it now, because Whitney was going to be here at any minute.

Whitney called me last night and told me that she’d gotten a call from the police. Obviously, they still didn’t have a suspect in custody, but she was informed that they’d called someone in for questioning after another murder. When she’d learned it was me who’d been called in, she immediately reached out to me.

“I can’t believe they accused you,” she declared.

“Technically, they didn’t accuse me or charge me with anything, but they did bring me in to ask me some questions,” I told her.

“I still don’t understand what would make them think you’re responsible,” she replied.

“Because three people have been murdered, and I knew all three of them,” I explained. “I guess they needed to cover their bases.”

There was a long stretch of silence. “I’m sorry about Archie, Hanna. I know how important he was to you.”

“Thanks, Whitney.”

“Hey, how about I come over tomorrow, so you and I can catch up?” she suggested.

At the time I hadn’t really been feeling up to having any company that wasn’t Leo, but I figured Whitney probably needed the distraction as much as I did.

Now, she was going to be here any second, and all I could think about was calling Leo. I had to do it.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com