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“Warm?” Faith offered.
“Yes,” he said. “She’s warm and sweet and soft and caring, and coming home to her is like coming home to a break from all the shit I have to deal with on a daily fucking basis with this damned job. Pardon my French, but you know how it is. This job will wear you down and wear you down and wear you down and wear you down until there’s nothing left. You …” he waved his hand at her, “… you’re like a brick wall. You can stand there and laugh while you get hit over and over and over, and you’ll just lift your hands and ask for more.”
Another twinge of pain ran through Faith’s knees. She lowered her eyes while Michael continued. “I can’t, Faith,” he said softly. “I can’t handle it. Not by myself. Not without someone to come home to to help me forget about all of this.”
Faith understood now why Michael needed her approval so badly. He suspected Ellie of being dishonest with him, too, but he needed to believe that she really was as wonderful as he needed her to be. He needed to have that soft place to come home to, that calm, kind person who could take his pain away and give him a reason to believe that everything would be okay.
He had sought that from Faith, and in Faith, he had found a strong, unyielding woman who shared herself only reluctantly and offered comfort in the form of cold logic and a Marine veteran’s refusal to listen to excuses. In Ellie, he found the gentleness and kindness and purity that he could find nowhere else in his life.
He needed her, but as much as he needed her, he knew she wasn’t what he needed her to be, and he needed Faith to ease his doubts so he could pretend, at least for a little while, that he’d found his happily ever after.
She couldn’t.
“Michael,” she said, “I hope you enjoy every moment with Ellie.”
Michael smiled softly, but his smile disappeared when Faith said reluctantly, “But be ready for it to end.”
He sat silently for a long moment. Faith met his eyes, her heart breaking with every passing second. After a moment, he said, “Well, thank you for talking to me. I appreciate your honesty.”
They finished the rest of their meal in silence. That silence remained unbroken as they drove home to Philadelphia. Faith dropped Michael off at his house. Through the window, she could see Ellie lift a bottle to her lips and head to the front door to greet him.
She looked at Michael, and by the grim expression on his face, she could tell he saw her too.
“Are we still friends, Michael?” she asked softly.
“Yeah,” he said, his voice light and airy. “Yeah, of course.”
He offered a smile which didn’t reach his eyes and bothered to keep it only for a second before getting out of the car and walking up the steps to the front door.
Faith watched as Ellie opened the door and pulled Michael into her arms. She held him close for a long moment, then pulled away just enough to press her lips to his and kiss him deeply.
From the backseat, Turk growled low in his throat. Faith reached behind and scratched his neck. “It’s okay, boy,” she said.
She backed out of the driveway and started for home. The moon was full and bright and cast a soft glow over the city, which, like the city she just left, never truly slept. She glanced at the moon and said, “No stars tonight.”
Turk whined softly, and Faith reached behind again to stroke his fur.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
“David?”
David looked up from his capellini. “Yes?”
Faith pushed at a piece of gnocchi with her fork and said, “Do you think I’m cold?”
He frowned and reached forward, laying his hand on her forehead. “You feel all right to me, but you can have my jacket if you want.”
Faith chuckled and said, “You’re sweet, David, but that’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean?” he asked. “Cold like a cold, unfeeling bitch?”
She laughed again and said, “Well, I didn’t mean that extreme, but yeah, I guess so.”
“Well, no,” he said. “I don’t think you’re cold at all. I think you’re tough and no-nonsense. I think you don’t take crap from anybody. I think you’re strong-willed, and I think you can sometimes be a little too blunt, but I think you care fiercely for those close to you, more than anyone I’ve ever met.”
She smiled at him and decided she was falling in love with him. “Thank you,” she said. “That’s actually really nice to hear right now.”
“Why?” he asked.
