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“Yes, one day. I want four.”
“Four? That doubled since we were kids.”
“I know but back then I was different. Being around Eric and watching him grow has shown me how much I enjoy it. What about you?”
I want to say ‘however many you want’ but I don’t. I don’t want to scare her off. “Yes, one day.”
We fall silent but it’s not uncomfortable just contemplative. It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask her why she left me. Why she never gave me a chance to explain, but we’re getting on so well and I’m loath to rock the boat. Things are good right now and there’ll be time for that once I’ve won her over and convinced her this is real.
“So, you wanted to talk to me about something?” Her fingers twist around mine mindlessly, as if she needs the contact as much as I do.
“I did. I’m not sure if you know about the charity called Love Books.”
“Are you kidding, of course I do. It’s helping so many kids that were in my position when I was younger. If I hadn’t been lucky enough to have you to teach me, I’m not sure I’d be reading now.”
Our order of sea bass and dauphinoise potatoes is set down by our waiter and we wait for him to leave before we continue.
“You would have. You were determined and smart and you’d have figured it out somehow.”
I love that she gifts me with helping her, but the truth is, Lottie would have succeeded anyway. She’s one of the smartest people I know, and dyslexia doesn’t take away from that one bit.
“Thank you.”
A blush steals across her cheeks and my heart tightens in my chest. I thought I was falling for her but now I know I’m madly in love with my wife. I always was it seems and maybe, just maybe, things will end differently this time, or God willing, not at all.
“Love Books is my charity and I want you to be the Ambassador for it.”
Lottie is stunned silent, her fork mid-air as she looks at me.
“Say something.”
“Something.”
I laugh as I take her fork and lower it to the plate.
“Are you serious? Love Books is yours?”
“Well, mine and Audrey’s. She had a friend who struggled in school too, so we set it up to help other kids get the help they needed.”
“Oh my God, that’s amazing.”
I’m relieved. When I set it up. I convinced myself I was doing it to help my cousin out, but I know the real reason was Lottie. Looking back over the last ten years, I can see her influence in the things I did, even the small things.
“They do wonderful work, and we need a new front person and I thought you’d be perfect. That’s if you’re interested of course. You don’t have to. I just wanted to put it out there into the world and see what you thought.”
“Yes, I’m interested. Tell me more.”
Over lunch, I give her the details of what we do and how she’d be involved. I want her to be as involved as much as she wants, and I respect that Eric comes first for her.
“You can meet with Dana, our operations manager, and discuss it more and go from there.”
“And Audrey is okay with this?”
“It was her idea.” I blush at the admission, wishing it had been mine, but it seems my cousin knows the way to my wife’s heart better than I do.
“Oh wow, that’s really kind of her. I must admit I’m a little in awe of her.”
“Audrey?”
