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I feel the shiver that runs through him as he bites his lip in a clear sign that he wants that, but he behaves as I greet the salesman with a handshake.
“Mr. Goldsmith, Mr. Reynolds, what an honor to meet you both.”
I shake his hand and Xander does the same, his public persona in perfect play. “Thank you for seeing us.”
The suited, pale, middle-aged man nods with pleasure. “I can’t wait to show you what we have here.”
He leads us toward a stunning Steinway Grand piano, and I let my fingers move over the keys, the crisp, clear sound relaxing me instantly.
“The sound is beautiful, is it not?” the man asks as I take a seat and begin to play a few notes.
“It is.”
He must sense my need for time because he backs away. “Why don’t I give you a few minutes to look around and then we can discuss your needs in more detail.”
I nod curtly. “Thank you.”
I feel Xander watching me as I begin to play Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven, letting the music flow through me. Every note unwinding inside me.
“When I was a child, the piano was something, I was forced to learn. My mother played and I always loved listening to it. It was a time when we could connect. When she and I would set aside our personality differences and just be. Like most kids, I hated that she made me practice but as time went on, I became immersed in the escape it gave me.”
“Does she still play?”
I shake my head. “No, she has arthritis in her fingers and she struggles.”
“I’m sorry. You and your mom, are you close?”
I stop and look up at him to give him my full attention. We haven’t talked much about growing up or our families, stuck in a bubble of our own making. Amelia knows everything about me, and I her, so it’s easy to forget that Xander doesn’t sometimes. Although I don’t like talking about feelings and the past, I owe him that.
“Growing up in a house full of overachievers was difficult. My father was this great businessman and my mother, she was such a gifted pianist but she set aside her dreams of playing Carnegie Hall and the likes to follow my father.”
“You think she regretted it?”
His gaze is intense and gentle, sensing I need to pause before I answer because I honestly don’t know. We don’t talk about emotions in the Goldsmith family.
“I don’t know. I know she loved us and my father but she’d get this look when she played that lit her up from inside with joy and I only saw that when she sat on that bench. All the tension would just flow out of her.”
“Did she teach you?”
I nod. “Some, but I also had a teacher. I enjoyed my lessons with her the most though because it was our time.”
“You said it was difficult in a house of overachievers but you’re the epitome of an overachiever.”
“I’ve been told that countless times in my life, but it was never about that. For me, it was just a thirst for knowledge. And also a desire to quiet the noise in my head. I’ve never been good at relaxing.”
“And now? Do you still feel that?”
I think about his question, and yes, I do to a degree but not like I did. Having Amelia and Xander has allowed me to be in the moment more. “Not so much.”
He smirks and I feel my entire body hum with desire for him. He senses I need to lighten the mood and he gives me that with his next sentence. “That’s because you’re dehydrated and exhausted from all the orgasms we give you.”
I stand and fight the desire to go to him, to grip his chin and kiss him, and it frustrates me that we have this invisible barrier between us.
I drop my hand and force a laugh instead. “I think it’s the other way around.”
Xander grins but his shoulders are tense and I know he feels it too, but he also carries guilt. It makes me angry because it’s not his fault. He has to live with this too, but a part of me does hold a smidge of resentment about it and I have no place to direct it.
“Let me show you the piano I want for Amelia’s place.”
