AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“If by that disgusting term, you mean that I love men, then yes. And for a long time, I was ashamed of that but not anymore. I’m proud of who I am and from now on I’ll cherish the people I love and show them how much I value them.”
I glance at Hudson who nods, turn on my heel, and walk out. We pass Emma, who’s packing her shit, clearly not willing to go down with this ship. Hudson will stay until the police arrive and take the files. Lois can handle it, but Hudson offered and I’m glad. I don’t trust Len.
Out on the street, I take my first full breath for what feels like weeks and bend to rest my hands on my knees.
Harrison pats me on the back and bends down to grin at me. “Did that feel good?”
I smile, my chest expanding from the weight it has lost. “Fuck, yeah.”
He holds out his hand and I see Beck and Amelia walking away. I slap Harrison on the back and chase after them. “Beck, Amelia, wait up.”
They’re at the car when they stop and Beck turns to me, his posture rigid and unforgiving.
Now I’m here I don’t know what to say. “Thank you both for coming. I wasn’t expecting it and I don’t deserve it.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I hope you can find fulfillment, Xander.” Amelia’s voice is slightly husky as she speaks and Beck wraps his arm around her waist and holds her to his side.
“Thank you. Do you think we could talk?”
“Why?” Beck demands.
I can see he’s not going to make this easy, but then I didn’t make it easy for them either, so I deserve this. “I just want to explain.”
Amelia rubs his arm and he glances down at her, his features instantly softening and my belly clenches with longing. They share a silent unspoken conversation and then he lifts his head. “Give us some time.”
I shove my hands in my pockets to keep myself from reaching for either of them. “Okay, but can I text, now and then?”
“I’d like that.”
Amelia is such a beautiful gentle soul, and I want to fall to my knees and hug her, never letting go for giving me that small window of opportunity. “Thank you.”
“We should go.”
I stand back as Beck helps Amelia into the car and I can’t help but admire them together. They’re both stunning but it’s how they interact that draws me like a moth to a flame. Their connection is something you read about. A love that only a few are lucky enough to ever experience. They shared it with me and I trashed it.
He slams the door and turns to me. “Are you doing okay?”
I want to pump the air with joy at his question because it means he cares, but I don’t. I hold still and drink him in as he lets his façade crack just a little. This man told me he loved me, but I never said it back. Instead, I took it and stomped all over it with my actions. “I’ve been attending online meetings.”
“Good.”
Beck dips his head and I see him fighting the urge to say more but he doesn’t, and I watch him get in his car and drive away.
“You good?”
Harrison has become my unlikely ally in this, and it means a lot to have him in my corner. “Yeah, I will be. I just need to figure out how to make this right.”
He pursues his lips. “It will need to be big and public.”
I kick the sidewalk. “You think? Beck is pretty private.”
“Exactly and you dragged his name through the mud publicly, so the apology needs to be the same.”
“Hmm.”
“Come on. Norrie is dying for an update so let’s go back to my place and figure it out.”
